"Relentless inconsiderate behaviour"

I'm really sad to be writing this as I am aware of the immense pressure facing our healthcare professionals but I can't not say anything. I've found the Charge Nurse I interacted with on ward 5C absolutely awful to deal with. They have been rude to both me and my mother on multiple occasions, when all we are trying to do is get an update on our loved one's condition. Again, appreciate the pressures (time poor, short staffed, stretched to the limit, etc.) but when you're in a public facing role, when people are dealing with some of the most upsetting times in their lives, it is completely unacceptable to treat anyone with disrespect and to be honest, contempt. My job is meaningless by comparison, but if I dared to speak to someone in the way this nurse has spoken to us, I'd be disciplined at the very least. 

What makes it worse is that it is obviously a choice - when they came into my relative's room and the Doctor was present, they were like a completely different person! Smiling, caring, it was unbelievable! 

My mother is my relative's next of kin and hadn't received any sort of update, so on the first day attending QEUH, we were obviously keen to get any insights on my relative's current condition. On approaching the nurse's station, the nurse in question and their colleague spent a couple of minutes ignoring us while laughing and joking (fine, everyone needs some light relief, & can only imagine how needed it is in that environment). The nurse then turned back to their computer screen, completely ignoring us, even though they had seen us. We felt a bit awkward so sort of coughed and said we're here to see patient X - the response to which, in a loud, shouty, accusatory voice was - I don't know who you are.

What the actual....? Well, perhaps you could start by asking us? Gave them the benefit of the doubt and proceeded by being polite and asked if we could get an update, again a less than polite response - I'm busy, I'm going to finish what I'm doing and then I'll try to come and see you. We were so shocked that we didn't challenge any of this behaviour and just thanked them and said we'd talk soon. None of what they said was wrong but it was the delivery of it that rattled me. We're people that can advocate for ourselves, but it really worries me about how they speak to people that can't, and the lasting impact that this might have. Really, really disappointing stuff.

What this nurse didn't know is that 30 mins previous to this interaction taking place was that I'd found out by phone call that my father had unexpectedly died. So as well as dealing with the stress of a close relative being in hospital, I had just received some really shocking news. This highlights how necessary it is to treat every interaction with kindness and understanding, we are all human however and not without flaws, so appreciate this can't be the case all day every day. However, we've been at the hospital multiple times now and while we do our best to avoid this nurse, every interaction has been the same.

There is no excuse for this relentless inconsiderate behaviour. My relative will likely be in hospital for quite some time and I honestly dread going to the place. I haven't yet challenged this nurse but hoping putting something down in writing will help me to handle the situation with some degree of decorum when the time comes. I wonder if other people have experienced the same.... very, very disappointing stuff.