"I did not feel that their intention was to help"

Went in for my 36-week scan and got sent to a room where it was only me and my fiancé. They took a urine sample and monitored my baby, after a while a doctor came in and told me the baby would need to be born.

I was really scared and had to sign papers for a c-section. I ended up getting the c-section the next day, the midwife who got us through this was amazing! But when I got to the ward everything changed.

After having the c-section I got moved to ward 22 and this is one of the worst experiences of my life. In front of my family the staff acted nice but when they left I felt they were horrible. I buzzed for help as I could hardly move after a c-section just hours before this. (Which I wasn't given pain relief for) they did come to see why I buzzed, but I did not feel that their intention was to help, as all they did was huff and asked what I wanted when I asked if they could pass me my baby over so I could feed her, they told me I can do that myself, why buzz for that?

I let them leave and I really struggled but I got my baby and got her fed. After that I tried not to buzz as even when some of them came to check my blood pressure they would make comments, telling me to get a grip as I was constantly crying in pain and couldn't sleep because of it, not to mention I was on a ward with other woman and their babies which is hard because every time I heard a baby I thought it was mine.

I was kept in for 5 days and called my fiancé every morning and night, which I don't think is unreasonable as I had never been in hospital before. This was my first baby and I had only came in for a scan, I was terrified. One of the staff asked me to turn my phone off one night at 7 o'clock at night , which I really didn't want to do as the only comfort I had was texting my fiancé, but I did it anyway, which made me feel worse.

At times my fiancé would sit with the baby so I could go outside to get a vape as I felt as though I was trapped in the hospital. I got up to go to the toilet which is in the same room I was in and got asked where I was going. They made me feel as though I was abandoning my baby by going to the toilet. When I was on my way out a member of staff asked me where I was going and I had told her I was going outside to get a vape, straight away they said they will put it down that I have left my baby unattended and I told them that's untrue as her dad is with her. They then asked when he came in and I told her. I later find out that they checked to make sure he was there.

When I was getting discharged a member of staff made comments about me being 17 and having 4 other children which isn't true, as I'm actually in my late 20's and this was my first and only baby. I still don't understand why they thought this, I did correct them and their face changed. I wasn't given medication to help me, I felt that I was treated as if an immature little girl who's having all these children and by the way I was treated abandoning them. This has really affected me, I still have nightmares about being in there and sometimes in them they take my child away. They have put me off having any more children as this hospital is the local hospital and I won't have another child in that building, even walking past this place makes me anxious.

I believe prisoners are treated better than I was, I can't fault the team when getting the csection but ward 22 was terrible in my opinion, for the health care provider I would suggest a lot more training , development and something called empathy as it rubs off on your patients who are only there for help.