"No idea how to emotionally support someone losing a baby"

My story began in early October when I was 12 weeks pregnant and began to spot. I felt perfectly well otherwise and tried desperately not to worry as I was told by the hospital that I could not be seen for 4 hours.

Due to the degree of upset and distress I was experiencing I book a private scan for the next day, where my worse fears were realised and a scan revealed a missed miscarriage. The diagnostician contact the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAU) at Craigavon Area Hospital only to be told I was not eligible to be seen until my appointment the next day.

That night my bleeding progressed slightly, by the time my appointment arrived I had embarrassingly leaked through my pads and clothes in the hospital carpark and arrived to the EPAU hysterical.

The staff were superb, compassionate, professional and caring. I haemorrhaged acutely during my scan and was admitted for surgery the next day. Everything was communicated to me and I fully understood what me choices were. For the next hour I was cared for by the EPPU before getting a ward bed. I cannot commend the EPPU enough :)

Although I cannot fault the ward nurses it was very clear they had no idea what language to use or how to emotionally support someone losing a baby. I laboured in agony that night and the nurses said very little, no one held my hand or reassured me (as the EPAU had done). The doctors I encountered were medically excellent but clearly did not have that much time to spend with me. I received no information regarding support, bereavement midwife service nor did I get a memory box. I luckily have a fantastic family to go home to but I dread to think how others in a less fortunate situation would cope