"Now I’m left even more alone and confused"

After years of seeking help with my mental health, I finally got an ADHD diagnosis. After going through tests, being told I’d have to go away and write down my feelings for 6 whole weeks, without any support or help, even after knowing the extent of my mental health. The only support I was given was 3 telephone numbers. 1 for the mental health nurse that was dealing with my situation. Another number for Dumfries and Galloway’ mental health and a further number if I couldn’t get through to the other two. 

During my 6 weeks, I had an extremely bad breakdown. I felt so alone until I remembered the numbers I was given for help. I called the first one and it automatically hung up. The second number I called told me I was through to the wrong region (by this point I was hitting my head off of walls, hyperventilating etc) Their response can you hold for a few minutes whilst I transfer you to the correct number, which then cut me off completely.

I was about done when I finally tried again, got transferred again then finally through to the right place. The member of staff who answered seemed confused and alarmed by the way I was acting. I explained I needed help, that I couldn’t breathe, I had pulled my hair out and that I wanted to hurt myself very badly. They then confirmed it was the crisis line and proceeded to ask me my DOB, name and who my mental health nurse was to which I had no idea as I couldn’t think. They finally got my details up and told me that they were on leave. I need help now.

I called the crisis line. Please help me now. All the call handler could say or help me with was by advising I get a paper bag and breathe into it. They then continued to advise that they had no idea what I could do other than that. Luckily my partner came home at that moment or I don’t know what I’d of done. The crisis line genuinely made me feel more alone than I ever had felt. If even medically trained people couldn’t help me, what was the point. 

Even after all of that and voicing what happened to me to the psychiatrist, I feel I have not been supported once. I have been prescribed ADHD medication which I currently cannot take and have had no help since.

I received 1 phone call since from the mental health nurse checking up on me. They asked questions about my pregnancy which as of yesterday isn’t a thing. They hadn’t been notified so I had to explain everything all over again. Not only that, they gave me no hope of any other options other than medication. They also mentioned they were surprised at my diagnosis as they were leaning more towards Bi Polar or Borderline Personality Disorder. To which I queried should I be questioning my diagnosis, they responded no and that they weren't a psychiatrist.

Now I’m left even more alone and confused than if I never sought help in the first place