"Feeling let down by maternity services"

During the first few weeks after having my baby I was visited by numerous midwives at various times of day. They didn't seem to communicate my wishes to each other - for example I requested an afternoon appointment one day due to my middle child graduating nursery that morning but received numerous phone calls telling me they were at my house during the graduation. 

I felt constantly on edge with not being able to go out and do things with my older two children due to not knowing when the midwife would arrive. 

Further to this at one appointment my baby failed to gain weight. The midwife told me this was because I have other children and so wasn't prioritising the baby correctly. This could not have been more wrong as I had barely spent any time with my older children and had been constantly trying to get a good breastfeeding relationship with my daughter. It made me feel awful and really down about the whole situation.

None of the midwives I saw helped me with breastfeeding and the general attitude seemed to be that I had somehow cut short her first feed in the hospital (due to needing to be taken to theatre to remove my placenta) so I just needed to not rush feeds. I have since figured it out with my baby and I've managed to continue breastfeeding her.

I think acknowledging the realities of life with more than one child and empathising rather than blaming me would have really helped me in the early days after giving birth.