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Comments about fathers on wards in 2023!

Posted By MUMMY118

"Comments about fathers on wards in 2023!"

About: Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh at Little France / Maternity care

(as a service user),

After having our second child, we were moved to postnatal ward 211. The majority of midwifery staff were kind and helpful and did their best for new parents despite the obvious limitations of space and shared wards.

We had been advised by our consultant and midwife that my husband could stay to support me and bond with our daughter. He duly did so but one of the staff on night shift both nights, acted like they disapproved of "men" on wards. They made my husband feel unwelcome and burdensome, making little jibes at him all the time and offering him no support or sustenance. 
For example,
1. After seeking consent from a midwife to store our equipment in a certain place in the ward, this staff member turned to my husband and said he needed to move his things, as this was a hospital unit.
 2. On night 2, we were struggling with getting our daughter to sleep in the cot as she was cluster feeding.
We sought advice from our wonderful midwife who told us to buzz when we were  ready and someone would help us position her. Unfortunately, when we buzzed, it was this member of staff.
When we asked for help, they said if, Dad is staying, he should be doing this to help. 
I responded to explain, firstly, my husband was a great support as a father since the new arrival and, secondly, we'd been TOLD to ask for help by a midwife.
From that moment, I didn't want them near or touching my baby and was incredibly distressed at the way my husband was spoken to.
Nhs Lothian- change your attitudes to this century please! Both parents have a role to play in their child's life from the start.
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Responses

Response from Catriona Grainger, Senior Charge Midwife, Maternity Services, Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh, NHS Lothian 2 years ago
Catriona Grainger
Senior Charge Midwife, Maternity Services, Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh,
NHS Lothian

Submitted on 25/05/2023 at 13:32
Published on Care Opinion at 13:55

Hello MUMMY118, thankyou for sharing your experience. It is always very useful to have feedback to reflect on and learn from.

I am sorry that this happened to you and your husband, we do strive to be as welcoming and accommodating as possible. We appreciate what a tremendous help partners are after the birth of a baby and are more than happy that they can be here as and when needed. Both parents should be encouraged to be with their new baby as much as they like and as you say, both have an important role. I would hope that the attitude displayed was not that of the staff in general. I will discuss your feedback with the staff.

  • {{helpful}} {{helpful == 1 ? "person thinks" : "people think"}} this response is helpful

Update posted by MUMMY118 (a service user)

Thank you, much appreciated and I found most of the staff to be welcoming and encouraging of my husband being there.

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