"The care my grandmother received in the last few months of her life"

Nan's emergency care hospital experience was awful. It took me 14 hours to get an ambulance to come and get her and it turned out she had a fractured pelvis but as she was not dying at the time she was not, at 100 years old, considered a priority.

Emergency care were then giving her codeine, and treating her for an infection she got after having been admitted, and we nearly lost her. As a visitor I witnessed first hand the neglect of elderly patients.

Nan was unable to feed herself so her food was just left and she would go hungry. We would make a point then of going over at lunch time just to feed her. The fruit I took in she would devour when we were there as she always complained of being hungry but it would then be mouldy on our next visit a week later.

At the rehabilitation hospital things were much better. She was kept clean and fed and personal touches and care administered. The majority of nurses were exceptional in their care and attitude towards Nan and us as family. Only one was not, showing rudeness, arrogance and a penchant for power, but when I raised this it was dealt with with sensitivity and understanding towards us.

My only upset towards the end of Nan's life was when I came a couple of weeks before she passed and Nan was out of sorts, she could not speak, seemed delirious and just not right. I was told she was fine. The next day I was called in to say goodbye to her, and she had been placed in a dark, cold side room with a thin sheet lying flat out ready to die.

It was heart-breaking. I managed to rouse her enough to have a drink where she drank a lot, obviously thirsty. I told the nurses this, who seemed surprised and said she could not eat or drink. It was as if they had given up on her and by not offering food or drink she would die quicker.

I asked if she had been seen by a doctor but no one had been called. The doctor did however come the next day and stated Nan had a chest infection and with the start of a new week came a change in nursing staff where Nan was sat up in bed to help drain her chest and help her breathe and then moved to a bright warm room.

We then had another week with Nan, where her family visited and she ate and drank for us and received a visit by the priest which she relished. Had we not been there to encourage the end of life care Nan deserved, she would have died cold, thirsty and hungry. This was not right and would not be a passing with dignity.

The hours leading up to Nan's passing I had the privilege of spending a good deal of time with her. The nurses ensured I was called in and cared for and was given advice, leaflets and a Horlicks, it was so thoughtful.

The call to tell me she had gone was sensitive and kind, with detail to help me know she was not alone, and when we came to collect her belongings we had all the time we needed to process her passing. The Yeatman hospital apart from one individual were kind, thoughtful, caring, understanding and patient. Their follow up care was also lovely.

One other story of note was the appalling treatment of Nan by social services, who even after her passing have not had the common courtesy to acknowledge her passing or apologise for not pulling their fingers out and getting her home as I had promised her. We had all the equipment, but faced a long drawn out process of red tape, not allowing an elderly lady her wish to die in her own home.