"My Labour Experience"

It was horrific. As soon as I got into the labour suite it was all hands on deck. I had 5 midwives in the room at one point for no reason, nor was I told why- including students, which I strictly stated in the ward, every other time I had been in (19weeks & 36 weeks) and also in my birth plan I did not want any present. 

I heard a midwife say in the room that nothing in the birth plan gets followed anyway. This caused my dad to start panicking as he is profoundly deaf and not one person attempted to explain what was going on and why there were so many people in the room. 

It is also noted in my plan that no males (other than my dad) were to be around me and a man had walked into the room while my whole body was exposed.

I had requested my community midwife be present at the birth and I had to get my birthing partner to call her because none of the hospital staff did or looked as if they were going to. As soon as she walked in the room, I loudly made clear that I wanted her to take full control. I didn’t feel relaxed, comfortable or supported until she turned up. 

A student was asked to pass some sterile gauzes and rather than rolling over the trolley, they picked some up with unsterile gloves - luckily my midwife noticed this and corrected it.

A cannula was forced in my hand by another staff member, without stating the reason. They then had to re-do it because my blood started squirting everywhere due to it being done wrong, all while I’m having contractions, being told by other midwives to wait until I’m ready. Because of this, I was left with bruising and swelling on my wrist even after 2 weeks post birth. 

I decided not to have an epidural way before I was due but while I was in labour an attempt was made to force my birthing partner to consent to one as I was high from pain relief, waving the sheet in her face telling her she had to consent, to which my birthing partner never did per my request.

All I heard in that room was one midwife stroking my head trying to calm me down as I’m going through the worst pain of my life and another staff member in the background shouting my name over and over again. I felt it was extremely rude. I was high on the pain relief and couldn’t function properly and I felt way too intimidated to voice my opinion in that moment. When being asked why there was students by my CM after I stated I didn’t want any, they simply said that I had been fine, and continued to say this student was nearly qualified, when I knew they were not near the end of their course.

I have to communicate with my dad, who was one of my birthing partners, through sign language and we don’t use our voices and I was asked by one of the midwives on more than one occasion, when I was previously admitted, what we were discussing and if it was rude or if anything was being said about them. Very discriminating and disrespectful.

My midwife was told to support me up the top of the bed after I made it very clear she is the ONLY one I want delivering my baby, that shouldn’t have happened. After I gave birth I was handed my son and everyone did what they had to do, they were arguing about who was going to suture me until I had said I was only comfortable with my midwife doing it. They even questioned if they were sure about my blood group in order to do rhesus bloods while the cord is already going white - one of the midwives had actually given me a dose of anti D a few weeks prior.

When it came to my son feeding for the first time, my midwife was trying to help me when I had another midwife grab and twist my nipple to express some milk and then grabbed my son by his neck, scrunched my nipple into his mouth - forcing him to suck when he very obviously did not want to.

After my son was placed in the bassinet, I asked if I could go shower and asked my best friend/birthing partner to help me - she agreed and when she ran back to the room to grab my toiletry bag, a staff member pulled her to the side to badmouth me. I was asked for my sons name to write on his tags and I wasn’t fully decided yet and told her I call him by a nickname, and I felt totally patronised for his nickname - saying I couldn't call him that, and that it wasn't going to be his name.

My birthing partner took pictures of my son on her mobile and the same staff member felt the need to call that strange. Wasn’t supportive at all and just caused stress upon stress. This was my first birth and the most terrifying and painful experience of my life, rather than looking back on it and seeing something magical - all I remember is the trauma. 

My community midwife was an absolute angel throughout my entire pregnancy, so much so that she even made it to my birth on her day off with 3 minutes to spare and helped me deliver my son. I felt I could openly and honestly speak to her about what was going on with me emotionally, physically and to be honest, I felt me and my son would be nothing but safe in her care. There is not a single person I would recommend more than her, absolute godsend 💙