"Insensitive, rude and disrespectful"

My mother taken into hospital just before Christmas, she could hardly breath or speak. I was advised she had terminal cancer, after being visited by many consultants to find out what was wrong with her. She was taken into the cancer ward and I was told to go get some bed clothes for her.

When I returned, I was angrily told I couldn’t see my mum by the receptionist because it was a cancer ward and they didn’t want to jeopardise the lives of cancer patients undergoing remedial treatment during covid lockdown.

OK I understand why they didn’t want anyone coming but why put a terminal patient in the same ward as patients receiving treatment and if you are going to put someone in a ward no one can visit, then this must be explained before doing so.

Training is desperately required in relation to communication, it’s not acceptable to shout at someone who is in shock and isn’t aware of rules when no one has explained them or been given anything to explain things.

When I phoned to find out how my mother was, I got through to someone who was rude and dismissive and wouldn’t tell me anything about my mothers health. In the end, after getting very irate on the phone, they let me see my mother on Xmas day for 30 minutes, whilst there they used passive aggressive methods to get me to select food choices for my mother as she wouldn’t do it. Looking at the menu I am not surprised, bearing in mind my mum couldn’t eat much, wanted soup, but wouldn’t cater for her request. Suggest you need to review food options for people who are unable to eat properly, plus she was in the last days of her life.

She died on Boxing Day early in the morning.

I didn’t hear another thing from the hospital after they advised me of her death an wasn’t allowed to go in and see her body. After 10 days contacted them, it was like they had forgotten they had her dead body, was told her belongings had gone into lost property!?!

It’s been a while since this happened, but I just haven’t been able to write my anguish down until now.

Needless to say, I am still very angry and hurt by the dismal care provided to my mother on her last few days of life. She didn’t want to go to hospital but I insisted, now I wish I hadn’t and listened to her wishes so the last few days of her life were not in a strange hospital bed surrounded by strangers who have no sympathy for others.

As a final note, all the prodding by the various consultants trying to understand what was wrong with her when she first went in made her very upset, it made me think she was being treated like a freak show because she did have some unusual issues. I think if someone is terminal, then why put someone through such intrusive examination.

This level of care is unacceptable and as a result of this experience, I will ensure I will not be spending the last few days of my life in any hospital and urge anyone else in a similar situation who cares about the person to do whatever they can to avoid it also.