"I have engaged with services. They haven't engaged with me"

2 years ago in April 2021 I was put under a section 3 and then discharged to East Glade. It was very clear from the start that I need a female care coordinator and was given one. Unfortunately it didn’t work out with her due to her not filling in the right paperwork etc.

East Glade was aware of this and changed my care coordinator but it was a male. They said it was only temporary and they’d put me on the list for a female worker once available, but I’d also have to wait for the new worker as he had to do some training. I agreed to this as like they said I thought it would be temporary.

Weeks later I spoke to my new care coordinator who seemed very nice but because of my mental health issues was I very wary. I found it hard to speak to him openly about my issues due to my mental health issues and past experiences with men.

Things went okay, as they agreed to let me have my last psychologist in the appointments with me. Her name was Catherine and I trusted her and worked with her before I was sectioned.

Unfortunately she was leaving the trust which set me back a lot as she was the only person I trusted in the team. My care coordinator told me I was able to have a care package because I had been on a section 3 and I got accepted and had a worker called Alice. We worked well together and my mental health started to improve but then she also had to leave suddenly and I was left with no one again except my male care coordinator.

He knew from the start I felt uncomfortable talking about anything to him on my own, but I did engage with him when I was in crisis.

I got handed over to another team in November 2022 for my support package and again I was weary because it was someone new who I had never spoken to or met and with my abandonment issues I found it hard to relay this to my care coordinator.

I started to miss appointments after Alice left and I think I attended 2 appointments with my care coordinator. Although he says that on the record I have only seen him twice since May 2022 which is not true! He also knows how uncomfortable I am talking to him in person on my own. And he made no effort to think of other ways to engage with me such as text messages or email. I don’t even have his worker phone number. Just East Glade.

In December I asked if I could go back to monthly prescriptions and my GP spoke with my care coordinator and said December and January are a hard time for me so we will put it at every fortnight.

Now without my care coordinator telling me and me phoning him, I have found out there was a meeting held about discharging me because lack of engagement. And they have decided to discharge me.

I find it unfair that they aren’t willing to find me a suitable female care coordinator, knowing my history. Also I’m still under a section 117 so don’t I need a formal discharge from that first before they discharge me from services?

I find it unfair that they are discharging me and blaming me, saying I don’t engage when my care coordinator doesn’t engage with me either. I try my best and like he said to my GP, December and January are very hard for me.

I also never received a relapse recovery plan from the beginning.

I’ve been passed from pillar to post with different workers and trying to engage but how can I when there’s no stability? Also instead of keeping me on the waiting list for a female worker, they are just discharging me instead.

What am I supposed to do about medication? Which was meant to be changing. The last time I saw the psychiatrist she asked me why I hadn’t had my bloods done for the new medication and I told her she never wrote to the GP about it and I can’t just arrive at the GP saying I need blood tests but I don’t know what for!

I think the way East Glade have been treating me over the past 2 years is absolutely disgusting. The communication goes both ways and I’ve had no idea what’s been going on from the start and again where’s my relapse prevention plan?

I was put in the crisis house last year and I’m still self harming which they are aware of. And now I’m left with no support and them basically saying it’s all my fault, when they haven’t even tried other methods to get me to engage and trust them. Now I’m left with no support and fearing to what’s going to happen next as I’m still not adjusting to life well yet.

It’s now been about 3 weeks since I heard I was getting discharged. I’ve made a complaint and nothing came out of that. I’ve been trying to get hold of a manager at East Glade and they say they will ring me back but never do. Even my GP can’t get hold of anyone and also agrees the treatment I’m getting from them is unfair and I still need support.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. So I’m now here, hoping someone will listen. I feel worthless and it just shows that I shouldn’t be here in this world. Nobody listens. I’m just a number to them.