"Please put the tick boxes away"

You can die or disappear forever from mental health conditions without taking any action yourself.  I have some of these conditions.  Having had them and deteriorating for years without any treatment, I have learnt all the predictive signs and knowing each time these  kick in they are longer until it will reach a threshold that I won’t come back from.  

Knowing that point in time is nearly here, I called a random helpline, having got drunk to enable me to do so, to record me outlining why I have these conditions, the lies told about me and the method of not just total exclusion, but active effort put in to completely exclude from any healthcare.  This helpline, without my consent contacted NHS 111.

I never would have given consent for NHS 111 to be contacted for 2 simple reasons.  I can’t use phones like a normal person - it is a massive trigger for my PTSD.  Also, a few years ago, I did contact NHS 111 with immense support from so many people, and the way I was treated and how ill it made me for so long meant that I would never contact them again.

This time they kept calling and I did speak to them.  Completely different behaviour from their side when someone from an organisation, not a patient calls them.  The person seemed to understand my situation and appeared to think that I should be able to have a GP (which would have to be out of my area), and asthma inhalers and fit notes.

They wanted someone else to speak to me - but I specified it had to be after 4pm or not at all and that was agreed. Why after 4pm? So that I would be able to have someone else there and not receive the call, as I knew already that the calls had made things go downhill much faster.

They called at mid morning and of course I couldn’t answer.  To make the phone call to the helpline, I made the decision to trade some of the time I have left and worsen my symptoms. Nobody else has the right to make that decision - and that’s what NHS 111 did with that phone call.  It wasn’t their time to take - and they took it from me for what? The sake of a tick list? Arrogance? Ignorance? It really doesn’t matter.

What someone says to do or not do, should be sufficient.