"Being assessed and becoming a day patient at an eating disorder unit"

I was initially assessed by a consultant psychiatrist in late April 2012 at a specialist eating disorders unit. I have a history of anorexia and had a previous hospital admission, my eating had begun to lapse and I was referred by my therapist.

During my first assessment, I felt inadequate. The doctor looked at their phone at least four times and at one point answered it. I was told at this assessment that I would be seen by a psychologist for a further three sessions for an on-going assessment. I saw this psychologist on five occasions during which time I lost four and half stone.

I had mentioned several times that perhaps I needed more input then seeing someone every 2 weeks. It took me to lose this amount of weight very quickly for my psychologist to admit me as a day patient to a specialist eating disorder unit in Marlborough.

During my time on the unit, I cannot say enough kind words about the staff on the unit both nurses and health care. They are perhaps some of the most caring, patient individuals I've come across. Whilst I was there, the doctor that did my initial assessment met with me on one occasion for five minutes. I never got opportunity to spend longer than that with them. Unfortunately I did not take the full opportunity of my time as a day patient and discharged myself.

Despite this, the psychologist who had seen me before agreed to continue to see me as an outpatient. I saw them on two occasions. My weight was barely holding stable during this time. Unfortunately on one occasion when I had travelled to Marlborough to meet with my psychologist, I was told they had had to go on leave and I would in fact be being assessed by the same doctor that had assessed me firstly. I was not told before attending this appointment that I was going to be assessed and was not at all mentally prepared for it.

I feel during this assessment the doctor treated me with contempt, like I was just another patient with an eating disorder and that when I left there would be another sat in her office like we were just numbers to them. They showed no sympathy or compassion and in fact withdrew all care from me as I could not be exact as to what treatment I wanted. All I could do was beg them for some kind of treatment. I felt like I was clearly not worth a second chance.

Since this assessment, all care has been withdrawn and I have no contacts to help with my anorexia purely for the reason that I wasn't precise enough. My weight has dropped and my physical health is very poor. Due to the doctor's apparent coldness, I have been put off asking for help or another chance as I feel I clearly do not deserve it.