"Nightmare with the birth of my First baby"

Anything else?

My baby was due on the 3rd of august, after begging to be induced my personal midwife got very friendly with the term 'niggles' even after a hiddeous rash and nose bleeds that regularly poured out of my nose. I came to kingsmill hospital on the 14th of August at 3pm and laboured through until 5pm on The 15th (left hospital on the 21st) when my baby was delivered by emergency c section he was taken straight onto the nicu ward. My first part of labour was awful, not knowing whether I was staying me and my partner were tense and didn't know what to do, every time we asked if we would stay they would say 'it depends'... On what!? The rest of my labour was well a bad labour, a lot of pain relief (max of everything) an extremely long time which shouldn't have happened as my baby was 8lb 8oz at 36 weeks, also it was well known my baby was big by my personal midwife and midwives at hospital as I'd visited the triage nurse with my rash and nose bleeds and rang the ward begging to be induced. Any way, the nicu team are amazing! How ever the ward stay I had was horrific, I was in such a bad state physically, mentally and being told my partner could stay one day and then that he can't the other and after one night stay i was forced to walk to nicu alone after my csection! Actually stating 'we are too busy you either walk or don't see your baby sweetheart'! The nicu team looked after me better than the ward!! After my mother was upset so much by this she was allowed to stay and care for me! The next night apparently my partner could have stayed but that was a different story when the nurses changed over!! Then I had to walk again, alone! Thank god the neonatal are such a good team!! I wished for a baby so badly and dreamt it would be magical, my pregnancy and birth experience were horrific! Fair enough every experience is different is different but mine didnt have to be this bad! My baby has recovered now (6 months on I still haven't!) I tell everybody about my experience and that I despise my community midwife! Isn't it a shame that you are not listened to! 'By the books' doesn't tell you about how I feel in my body! But saying that my midwife didn't even know whether my baby boy was head down or breech at 38 weeks so maybe by the books isn't too great anyway. Much more could be said but this essay for a review is big enough as it is!

What a shame. I was so excited. Then so disappointed.