"Nottingham City Crisis team"

Why oh why do I find myself complaining here again about the very same service. A service that is supposed to help me and others when most distressed and vulnerable and which has once again I feel, let me down spectacularly.

I spoke to out of hours line on a Thursday and spoke to a staff member who was so compassionate and kind and really saved my life when I was adamant on taking it. Following this I was persuaded by both my cpn and psychologist to be officially re-referred to the team for support. I had my reservations as I have felt let down by this service in the past, and sometimes felt accessing this service has actually made me feel more suicidal, but I am always optimistic, so agreed.

I spoke to the same staff member again on the next evening again this staff member was amazing in their effort to help. I got through another shaky night. This staff member explained they would put me down for daily contact over weekend.

On the following day, I spoke to a different member of staff who I've spoke to on many occasions and who also I believe really did their best to help me. This staff member wanted me to see someone on the next day face to face. But I am currently hearing voices that will not allow this and so after persuasion I agreed with this staff member that they could ring me after 4pm the next day and I would have telephone support. They also offered me a Fp10 for prn medication and told me to ring if I needed it as I initially declined.

The call was arranged for the following day as although I could ring if I needed to. a) the voice and my distress make it difficult for me to be able to pick up the phone. b) I find it difficult to go through everything once again with someone new and it is better for a staff member to ring me so that that person can read my notes first and know where I'm at c) For personal but justifiable reasons I find it difficult to speak to male workers & wouldn’t know if a female would be available.

So the next day was extremely difficult very early on. I rang in the morning and asked if an Fp10 for prn medication could be written as I felt I would not be able to get through without it. When the same staff member from the previous day came on shift they rang me to say it would be written and posted through my door and at this point never went any further to ask how I was, just told me I would be rung later that day as planned.

I wanted to ring the team all day but didn’t for the reasons I mentioned above and waited for my call. I received no call. By the evening time I was very distressed as I know daytime shift would soon be finishing but I presumed the service was very busy and I would be called before end of shift.

By later that evening, after receiving no call, I once again felt let down and that I had been promised things which were not delivered.

Eventually I found the strength to ring the service in the hope I could speak to a female worker or at least get an explanation about what went wrong.

I spoke with a different member of staff. I asked to speak to the nurse on shift and rather than pass me over they wanted to know why I wanted to speak to the nurse. So I explained I was upset as I was expecting a call. They asked me what I actually wanted a call for, and when I said for telephone support they again asked what for exactly? They then went on to tell me it's my responsibility to ring if I need to speak to someone and not the crisis team no matter what was promised. I got upset at this because 1. what is the point in being re-referred at all if that was the case as I can ring you anyway as I'm under secondary services and 2. I was promised a call and not once did I receive an apologise or explanation.

I asked to speak to a different nurse on shift and they did apologise however said I had already had a call that day and the staff member probably thought that was enough and didn’t require a further call.

I feel that half of my admissions over the years could have been avoided if someone just came and listened when this was arranged.

I would like an explanation on what went wrong on this occasion once again. Please provide here if possible.

In short this has taken me an hour to write and I am left still ill, still in crisis but feeling once again unworthy of your help. What kind of crisis care is that?