"Emergency care of the elderly in extreme circumstances"

My stepfather had a fall and suffered brain damage and we were told we would only know how well he would recover after 2 years...... the problem being my mother and stepfather whom are both elderly lived in Cornwall and we are in Surrey so a lot of time travelling etc.

The care in hospital was fairly good but support once he was sent home was very very poor in our opinion and to add to this my mother was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. The strain from the situation took its toll on my mother, who passed away recently, only 9 months after diagnosis.

Both my sister and I had to take time off work...unpaid which also brings its own stress. Eventually we had no choice but to transfer my mother up to Surrey, away from her home in Cornwall as she was just to ill to look after herself, let alone a husband who now did not understand what was happening.

My mum was taken into hospital in Surrey over Christmas. The care in our opinion was poor. Despite telling staff that she was having chemotherapy, some of the doctors wanted her to return to Cornwall despite being in no fit state to travel. She was discharged several times only to end up back in hospital a few days later as it seemed no one wanted to take responsibility for her care.

My stepfather decided to return to Cornwall on his own by coach... he can no longer drive and has lost his sense of danger and emotions, we were unable to stop him as we were trying to deal with mum. He never made it home as he was found unconscious on the coach when it arrived in Cornwall and he was rushed to hospital and now has signs of rapid dementia... no advice or help has been offered on how we can cope.

We were told my stepdad would not be allowed back to his home so we now have him with us in a state of confusion... mum died on Monday and by Friday we are trying to deal with my stepdad.

Where can you turn for help out of hours?! How much more can we cope with…who will look after him while we arrange and attend Mum’s funeral?

To us it feels like if you don’t have money for private care then you are on your own..

While this has happened my real dad has also been diagnosed with Parkinson’s dementia after falling in his garden and getting hypothermia.

My boss says I have had too much time off work so I may lose my job and I feel like I am having a nervous break down........ does anyone care? From my experience, I’m afraid I think that is a great big NO.