"Psychiatrist's mirror showed me a brighter future"

I was the victim of a neglectful and abusive upbringing and have carried that secret around with me for decades hoping that it would somehow fix itself if I just kept smiling. In the past these issues have resulted in severe depression and contributed to a suicide attempt, but I have found it incredibly difficult to open up about them until very recently, with the help of the amazing team at Borders General Hospital.

Once I finally admitted what had been happening to me, they decided I needed help from a psychiatrist and referred me to Dr Herath's clinic. I arrived there nervous and left almost speechless, having been gently encouraged to speak about my history through a series of sensitive, intelligent, empathetic questions which somehow got me talking calmly about the many traumas I have bottled up inside me.

The thing which most amazed me about this first session was how Dr Herath was able to give me the same good advice, within half an hour of meeting me, that my own husband had been trying to get through to me for years, on issues which I was sure were too complicated to explain and too difficult for anyone to understand - issues which I thought were basically unsolvable. (I don't believe that anymore, thanks to this appointment.) I have absolutely no idea how Dr Herath managed to understand and recognise, in such a short space of time, the overwhelming variety of terrible experiences I have been through since childhood.

I have no idea how he was able to tell me, as if he had seen them happening with his own eyes, the kinds of things my abusers said and did to me, or how quickly and eloquently he was able to reassure me that none of these things were my own fault - he was able to figure out for himself the terrible ways in which I had been treated, writing down notes at the speed of light as I spoke without making me feel I was being ignored, and deducing with incredible accuracy from my answers, what I had been through, what kinds of things my abusers did to me, how they made me feel, and why that was so wrong.

I have no idea, and possibly never will have, how he was able to walk me through some of the hardest moments of my life, keeping me composed and focused, in a way which made me realise, for the first time, that these problems were not permanent scars, but wounds which could be healed with the right help. 

Dr Herath was THE RIGHT HELP, and I have every confidence that the suggestions he made, both for my future treatment, and about immediate actions I could take to start improving my situation, will set me back on a pathway to recovery which will make lasting change to my life. I have had so many nightmares, so much pain and cried so many tears over the problems which I spoke about with Dr Herath yesterday.

Now I know I can do more than just suffer because of them. I can face them, and beat them,  with help from yet another amazing team at the Borders General Hospital. I am so very grateful.