"my experience of maryon mental health ward"

i was admitted in 2010 to the maryon ward oxleas house after having a breakdown. i feel the care i experienced at the time was awful from 70-80% of the ward staff.

i felt that some of the staff members were reguarly disrespectful, kissing their teeth, turning away - it felt like at times they ignored me, walking away when i tried to talk to them. on occasion my requests to talk were met with a staff member telling me to find someone else because they were busy.

on one occasion i waited at the staff door only to hear them talking about me in a way that i found very disrespectful, and they were laughing. when i opened the door i was told i shouldnt of been listening.

i raised some issues i had at the time with a worker of MIND, and they said when they approached the staff they felt they were negative about me.

i was there because i was ill, but ended up feeling more and more worthless due to what i consider to be a lack of care. one menber of staff said they didn't like me, that they were there to do their job and asked me why i kept trying to reassure myself on if they liked me or not.

on another occassion this member of staff told me if i didnt attend meeting regarding repairs to my flat i would be put to the street. another staff member said after i had self harmed and asked for pain relief that other patients had harmed worse than me and did not ask for pain relief. i was told by another worker i was wasting the nhs money.

i was diagnosed with unstable borderline personality disorder.

i was told - not asked and not given an option - to sleep out on a regular basis, which means you dont have a room and have to carry possesions with you until 10 11 12 pm until you are told the bed on the old peoples ward is ready.

on one occassion i had taken a large overdose, and was feeling very sick and was still made to sleep out with a staff member saying that it made no difference where i slept. i was a mess and was accidently sick in the kitchen bin, i was then made to clear my sick up - while staff stood around looking at me in disgust telling me i shouldn't have been sick there and that next time i should go to the toilet (as if i had the choice).

I was one of a select few asked for a urine sample because some patients were taking drugs on the ward but after questioning why they were asking me, i was told it was for a pregnancy test because I had put on weight? I may be ill but that doesn’t give anyone especially someone in a caring professional role to behave like this.

i also witnessed a member of staff sleeping while on night duty, effectively being paid while they slept (who is the real waste of nhs money?)

i believe that most of the staff had very little understanding about people suffering from bpd.

i was made to sleep with a towel instead of a pillow, priority was given to the couple of long term patients.

i observed staff eating food that was meant for patients and being secretive about it.

i believe that some of the christmas ward presents were taken by staff, as were the christmas chocolates and cakes.

i could go on and on. when i am stronger i will be contacting pals again, maybe even contacting a solicitor about the care i experienced. I don't want anyone else to have to experience the same as i did from people who are meant to be healthcare proffesionals there to help to support and get you better.