"CMHT lack of treatment and confidentiality"

I was advised to put a complaint in writing to Leeds and York Partnership NHS Foundation Trust and while looking to find out how to do this I found this form. I will also be calling to verbally put in my complaint.

My experience of the NHS MH services has been a complete waste of time and if anything I feel they are making me worse.

I have never had a MH issue before and it did come as a surprise, I didn’t realise I had an issue and it was not spotted by my GP. I don’t feel this was my GP’s fault as I don’t normally open up and say things so they did well to realise there was an issue when they did before it was too late. I really didn’t understand what was going on and at first I don’t think I realised my behaviour was out of character I was just blind to what was going on. When I started to accept I had an issue I thought I was better when really I think I had just accepted I had an issue and thought I was getting there. When this all came to light it was messy at the time I would probably have blamed the doctors and the hospital but I do accept I was just not well and didn’t have a clue what was going on.

My GP suggested CMHT and explained what it was so I said I would give it a go, I have been told CMHT was suggested previously and I refused but I have not recollection of this.

I was really nervous about this and was not sure what to expect but after a few weeks someone called me and said they would be sorting me out and booked an appointment. I have had various operations in my time and the wait for CMHT was not as long but it did feel like it due to how I was feeling.

I was really nervous about going but knew I had to open up and be honest if I was to get any better. When I arrived for my first appointment I was kept waiting in the waiting room stressing out, I then realised it was because somebody else was going to be present in the appointment and they hadn’t turned up. I soon realised time keeping was not a strong point of theirs based on all appointments.

I found it difficult having 2 people to see as I felt they had discussed me and it was them against me but I did answer all the questions they asked. They said they thought I would need 4 appointments to start with so I said I only lived local and wanted to get better quick so if anybody cancelled they could just call me and I would come. I thought this would mean no appointment was wasted and I would get better as quickly as possible. I will describe the two people I saw as P1 & P2. P2 jumped in and said it doesn’t work like that was really abrupt, they also kept saying they couldn’t guarantee I would get better and that I would not get ill again. This was really upsetting as my GP who has known me for many years said that they think it is probably just a one off and that it will probably never happen again. My GP was not guaranteeing anything but they were at least using their experience and their understanding of me to make me feel better.

When I left after the appointment I felt worse than when I went, I was honest and told them at the next appointment and was told that was normal.

I didn’t really take to either of the people I saw which I don’t think is a reflection on them as people as not everybody gets on with everybody. I found P1 to be a bit patronising and P2 to be abrupt and harsh. As my appointments went on I did come round to P1 a bit more and felt I trusted them more but feel having 2 people in the room was not helpful as if it had just been P2 I might have a different opinion of them. I also felt like it was them against me all the time and wasn’t sure who I was responding too and it just made me feel uncomfortable.

I attended a few more appointments and was told not to discuss my MH with my GP which I didn’t have an issue with apart from they kept booking in regular visits and asking me how I was getting on, I felt a bit stuck in the middle so felt I had to repeat GP conversations to P1 & P2 so I didn’t get accused of saying something wrong.

I didn’t feel I was getting anything out of these sessions and was waiting for P1/ P2 to discuss a treatment plan with me and just assumed the questions they were asking me was helping them put a plan together.

I did start to feel better in myself which had nothing to do with the appointments as I mentioned I was waiting to hear what my treatment was going to be. I started to feel like was getting back to my normal self and I was embarrassed by my actions while I was unwell. Unfortunately I had a couple of set backs and I didn’t deal with them how I would normally and I started to panic I was going backwards, I called P1 who did return my call and asked me to go see them in a couple of days. I went to see P1 who was on their own, I was distressed but they did help a bit as when I left they suggested I went for coffee which I did and reflected on what they had said to me. I wasn’t suddenly better but I did feel able to cope.

Prior to my next appointment things had deteriorated again and what seemed to be making it worse was me thinking I was going back to where I was when I was first ill and my behaviour started to change where I was been reckless and doing things out of character. I didn’t want to go to the appointment but managed to get myself there as one of the things that had upset me was a letter I had received which was not accurate, P1 had said to bring it with me and they would write something to confirm it was not correct.

When I arrived it was obvious I was distressed and I explained I felt I could no longer keep going, I had just given up. P1 started talking at me saying that they had told P2 what had discussed and then proceeded to tell me what they had said to P2. I wasn’t really listening as I was so un well I couldn’t take anything in and just needed some help. I passed P1 the letter and they read it and said they didn’t see what was wrong, they then looked at P2 rolled their eyes and passed it to them. Clearly they had not been listening to anything I had said in the previous appointments or they would know how wrong it was. I explained I wanted help and was not coping, this in itself is an improvement from when I was 1st ill as I hid it back then. I was faced with blank faces and was asked if I was following my care plan. I said I had no idea what that was and what they were on about. They then printed a document off that they said was 7 pages long but only gave me 1 page. The page they gave me had 2 questions on that they had asked me previously. One of the questions was what I will do if I felt I was getting ill again. I had wrote I will tell somebody and ask for help, so they said that’s what I should do. What the hell did they think I was doing sitting there? I was asking them for help.

The whole experience was exhausting and I was felt I was getting worse. They said they felt I should leave and if I had an issue I had the crisis card to call, they clearly don’t listen as I told them I had lost my phone.

 I have no idea how they could not see how unwell I was and why they didn’t do something. When I left I noticed I had blood dripping down my arm and was all over my hand, I hadn’t noticed but that will be down to the state I was in – What was there excuse?

I was so worried about been on my own, knowing I couldn’t call anybody with no phone I just sat in the car park for an hour trying to calm myself down, surely, they should have done this in my appointment time.

The next day I sorted a phone out and called the crisis team who didn’t seem too happy I had called them and said I was under CMHT and autism so they should help, I explained I was struggling to cope and was worried about my actions, I am still waiting for that call back, so they haven't been a helpful service for me.

After this I was due a GP telephone appointment to sort out my medication this never happened so I decided the only way to get myself sorted was to source the medication myself. Once I had done this I called and left a message for P1 to let them know what I had done so that I was been honest and not hiding anything, P1 did call me back but I missed the call and have not had the call I made after returned yet.

Today I was given a letter that went to my neighbours house (great confidentiality from P1 &P2 there) and it left me so distraught I didn’t know what to do. It is like P1 & P2 have just made it up. I was really angry so called to speak to P1 or P2 but it kept saying reception staff are busy so I couldn’t get through. The more I thought about what I had read the more upset I was getting and I couldn’t face looking at it again, I feel there is no point anymore as nobody is listening. What makes this so frustrating is that when I was well I am not a demanding person and take everything in my stride but as soon as I need help nobody is willing.

The letter says

1)I have agreed to go to primary care which I assume means my GP, I have explained on many occasions I don’t want to go back to my new GP as they doesn’t listen and they make me extremely anxious

2)It states they have identified some triggers and lists things that have NEVER been discussed

3)It states I want to jump in front of traffic I have never once said this. When they asked me what I had said to my GP I said and they will confirm “ if I got hit by a bus tomorrow I don’t really care but its not like I am going to go throw myself under one” My irrational and unsafe thoughts are bad enough without P1 &P2 making them up

4)They have told me to practice some technique that I have never heard of, when was this discussed or explained? Are they just trying to justify their time

5)Something about me worried over upsetting the police, again absolutely no idea what this is about

6)It says I have been referred to autism team because a family member suggested it, again another lie. My original GP who has known me for many years suggested that I was showing some traits, the other GP said it was worth testing as it will explain a few things. Both P1&P2 asked how I felt about the referral and I said I wasn’t sure how it would help and didn’t really know what to do, they suggested putting in the referral as it takes time so I can decide while this is going on. I have a letter which had a link on for me to check out which has left me with more questions than answers. I assumed that P1 & P2 would explain at some point what would happen and help me understand but it was never mentioned again

7)It says I found cognitive behavioural therapy difficult to follow, if they had not put in brackets booklet sent to you I would not have known what this was. I never said I found it difficult I just said I had had the time to look at it and they never mentioned it in the appointments

8)Surprise surprise it says I have the numbers for crisis, passing the book to them, even though they say they cant help its CMHT.

9)It states my decision about primary care again, if this means GP not it wasn’t and it says I consented to a detailed handover sending. I DID NOT CONCENT TO THIS, I DID THE OPOSITE AND P1 confirmed this in an appointment we had. I DO NOT wish for any detailed report sending. I have previously requested that my records are not shared across Leeds and I have confirmation my records are kept securely where they are been used and will not be passed about. There are data laws about things like this and you are in breach as I HAVE NOT CONSENTED TO THIS.

Due to all this added stress I was concerned for my safety so called crisis who didn’t see why I was calling. I did get a call back and they said they can see the letter and they don’t know what they can say other than ring this other number again passing the book. They said they do not know if this detailed info has been sent yet and if I am not happy to write in and complain.

I can not believe how I have been left, it was hard for me to accept help but to accept and not be given any is just making me worse, I am extremely distressed and just feel like there is no point to anything anymore.

Can I just finish off by saying I am not complaining about P1 & P2 Personally as they are probably really nice people I am just unhappy that as a mental health team you leave people in dangerous situations. If it wasn’t for my conflicting thoughts fighting all the time the outcome could have been so different and im sad to say it still could be.

IF YOU HAVE NOT YET SENT THE INFO PLEASE DO NOT SEND I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT, IF I AGREE TO SOMETHING I WILL GIVE YOU WRITTEN CONFIRMATION