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Hopelessness

Posted By Mr not angry

"Hopelessness"

About: Inclusion Thurrock (Talking Therapies)

(as the patient),

Whenever I reached the end of my tether I reached for counselling, It always helped but only for a short while. This time I felt worse than ever.

It was just before Christmas, I had financial issues, marriage issues a falling out with my son and I had no patience left for anyone. Road rage was a release but the guilt after any sort of outburst was overwhelming, in the end I 'knew' the world would be a better place without me in it so I took an overdose. 

48 hours later I woke up with every negative emotion and no recollection of those last two days. 

That was the turning point for me I think, that was the moment when I realised that my previous efforts hadn't been enough. 

I approached inclusion (again) and asked for more help which came in the form of Mark. He started by helping me to accept that counselling isn't the solution. I know that sounds a bit crazy but hear me out. Counselling is more like a piece of equipment, a tool, something you can use to achieve your goal or create your solution. Just like gym equipment to lose weight or a handsaw to create some shelves you can't just pick it up and do it well it takes practise, lots of it! 

Six months and lots and lots and lots of practise (still practicing) later and I've learned a new skill called acceptance. To anyone reading my blabber and wondering whether any sort of therapy is worth it I promise you it is, I also guarantee it is not easy and there is a lot of hard work involved. 

Finally I would like to offer you a prayer. May you be granted the serenity to accept the things you cannot change,

Courage to change the things you can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

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Responses

Response from Paul Bagot, Operational Lead, Inclusion 5 years ago
Paul Bagot
Operational Lead,
Inclusion

Submitted on 10/08/2018 at 13:44
Published on Care Opinion at 13:45

Dear Mr not angry

You describe your journey through difficult times, very bleak times, with raw honesty and I'm full of respect for that.

You also describe that cycle of getting support for a while but still ending up repeating the old behavior, noticing a pattern but still being stuck.

Your analogy of having new tools but only learning new skills by using these tools and practicing, practicing practicing, is absolutely right.

Change takes time - but you get there!!! As you have....

I think your story is so helpful to people who are realizing that treatment isn't a quick fix and that its something people work at, go through phases of learning and applying that learning, seeing / feeling that change and then repeating the process, going forward as a journey through treatment, to meet their own goals.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience of the Inclusion Thurrock service but also sharing your journey too ........

Acceptance is a great tool to have in your tool kit. I wish you all the very best from me and all the staff at Inclusion.

Many thanks

Paul

  • {{helpful}} {{helpful == 1 ? "person thinks" : "people think"}} this response is helpful

Update posted by Mr not angry (the patient)

Thank you for taking the time to read and to reply to my story. It is my real hope that it helps someone to realise they are not the first and they won't be the last to have a bad day, and no matter how bad that bad day gets, there will Always be someone out there who wants to (and can) help.

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