"Shocked"

There is nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already, my story has elements from all of these, but I am complaining, I am going through NHS England and using an advocate through the citizens advice service.

We must never assume that the people we speak to in the NHS don’t care. The system doesn’t allow them to use their skills and training anymore, they’ve had enough too.

We must complain to the right people, we must keep nagging or mental health care will never progress.

My issues don’t get dealt with because I present too well. I took responsibility for my illness many years ago, learning as much as I could, finding ways to tolerate the awfulness, trying not to be a pain to everyone. I have been very successful, as i’m still here, although I have had 2 unsuccessful suicide attempts over the years.

After my last attempt at taking my life, last year, I went to a psychiatric hospital and I now realise that this pro active approach is what has stopped me from getting treatment.

Unless we are ‘squeaky wheels’ and make a nuisance we don’t get help, unless we act out being the stereotypical mental health patient and tick the correct boxes there is no treatment. They (the people who devised the system, some Drs and some therapists) take one positive thing as the ‘cure’, not as a beginning but as ‘the answer’. Resilience, longevity and maintaining progress doesn’t come into it, you get shoved out of the door.

Anyway, don’t get discouraged by the system, google IAPT. You will find out about the government led revision of the care and treatment of mental health, and why the system is falling apart because NICE who test drugs etc, are now dictating how mental health is treated.. Don’t get put off by jargon, anything you don’t understand - search you will understand how the system should work and then you will understand why your treatment didn’t work. Then complain and quote those reasons at them, tell them what they have done wrong. Derby Health Watch need more examples of when the system breaks down.

Someone in government takes silence as a pat on the back, they are doing everything right. But you can make statistics add up to anything. I was nearly a statistic on a coroners report, another person with what they describe as Recurrent Depressive Disorder which, as far as I have been made aware, isn’t allowed to be classed as serious unless the person presents themselves as dirty, smelly, drunk, uncommunicative, hysterical or threatening violence to themselves or others.

I am not usually this determind, but i’ve had enough of feeling ill. Don’t be dragged down, remain positive, keep nagging for treatment, don’t get fobbed off with excuses, knowledge is power - look up IAPT and the 5 year plan.