"My Grandmother"

My Nan is back in hospital for the numpteenth time battling a Chest Infection with Pneumonia. My Nan is the strongest woman I know, and she has more fight in her than most.

Recently, whilst me and my mother was round her bedside, her Doctor came in and said to her face 'when the time comes and your heart stops, we won't revive you, we won't put you in Intensive Care, we will let it take its natural course'. My question is why? Why did they have to tell her that to her face? What has she benefited from that? When the time comes and her heart does stop, she won't know whether she's being revived.

All that information has done is terrify her and take quite a lot of the fight she has in her. I've never seen my Nan anything but brave, fighting numerous Cancers, Infections and Operations, but today for the first time I saw the look and actions of someone scared. Why did the doctor not just gather her children and Grandchildren aside and tell us? After they left the room, I then had to explain what they were saying. A conversation I should never have to have.

I will never forget the look on my Nan's face, it'll be embedded in my brain forever. Nan now has to let it sink into her head that when her heart stops, she won't receive any help. It's like a third person signing her death certificate before she does. She's now scared to stay in hospital incase the inevitable happens whilst she isn't around her family members, and she's scared to go home and have her heart stop there. No answer will justify what happened today, whether it be 'protocol' or not, it can't be undone.