"Life after Sepsis"

Exactly a year ago today was the worst day of our lives as my husband took critically ill very suddenly with double pneumonia and Sepsis.  Luckily the ambulance crew recognised he was septic and rushed him up to our local hospital (Crosshouse Hospital, Kilmarnock).  Within a short time he was taken into the ICU and very quickly was intubated.  Over the next couple of days he suffered multi organ failure due to the Sepsis.  He wasnt expected to live - Miraculously after a month in intensive care he turned a corner and began to make improvement - leaving hospital at the end of May 2017.  He has been very lucky to survive but unfortunately he's been left with mobility problems and 24/7 pretty severe pain from various nerve damages.  Prior to the sepsis he had apparently had 2 strokes and did have some problems from them and also had peripheral neuropathies due to complications of his Diabetes so he had a few daily struggles anyway but the critical illness last year seems to have exacerbated everything he previously had and also added on some extra things to deal with.  

We were very lucky with the after care he has received since leaving the hospital and though the ICES team (Intermediate Care) he was referred to the Dirrans Centre in Kilwinning to see if going along there could help him.

He was very apprehensive to begin with as he struggled to accept his new way of life and in effect being disabled now.  He was fighting against everything and everyone - me in particular - and just didnt know how to fit in any more.  His previous profession as a talented musician and songwriter was becoming a bitter distant memory as he no longer was able to use his fingers in the way needed to play.  His confidence was shattered and day to day life now was sitting in a corner of the room watching videos. as walking was so painful.

The Dirrans Centre has been a bit of a life safer for not only my husband but myself too.  They have made us "both" feel welcome and very at ease from the first time we entered the building.  They were more than happy for me to stay in the building during the first time mu husband went just so he didnt feel like I was abandoning him and they take time to ask how "I" am doing too which is lovely.

My husband was quite surprised by the fact that only a few people attending the Dirrans were actually born with their disability - the rest of them were the same as him whereby it happened fairly suddenly.  He now had people who he could relate to and who in turn could relate to him and is beginning to develop some nice wee friendships there.  That is also helping him to gain some confidence back and also purpose too. 

One of the groups he attends is the music group and is thoroughly enjoying it.  It really has helped more than words on here could ever say.  In discussions he can talk with like minded people who all feel exactly like him and mourn the loss of their abilities but joining together they all are venturing back into not fearing having a go at their chosen instruments again.  

My husband thought his days of keyboard playing were well and truly over and had not managed to play in the last few years. BUT ....a very emotional moment a couple of weeks ago when his Key Worker proudly showed me a video of their latest project in the group and all of them were playing instruments.  There at the back was my husband playing his keyboards - slowly and tentatively but he was playing again!!  

Without being at the Dirrans he would never have believed in himself enough to even try.  He would not have had the confidence.  The staff and also the other people attending together are what he needs.  The group gives him something to look forward to.  Its not all about what they can do for him though, its also very much about him being able to offer something to others there - anything - his knowledge, his experience, his friendship etc...thats very important too to someone who has been through a traumatic illness - to still feel worthwhile.  To still want to be heard and have something to offer.  I cannot praise the centre or the staff more highly.  They are giving my husband a place where he can feel alive again and from my point of view as his wife and carer, it gives me a little time away from the stress of being on duty 24/7.  I feel confident leaving him there and it allows me to just have a little breathing space.  Thank you Dirrans