"horrible and painful to this day!"

What I liked

i was pregnant with my 5th baby and it was known to certain specialists that i had a bad experience with my 3rd child due to having a crash section and had post natal depression afterwards. with my 5th child i was told i had full placenta previa and would need another c section i was petrified that i would be put asleep again during a c section and told my specialist there was no way i would agree to be put to sleep he assure me that if i told them i didnt want to be put to sleep i wouldnt be and made me promise if i started bleeding to contact maternity ward at north tees asap so i promised him i would if he promised me there would be no way of being put to sleep he agreed and i went home feeling happy unfortunalty i started bleeding and got rushed to north tees hospital in the ward the doctor examined me ( and i found out they not suppose to do this with full placenta previa unless under operating conditions) after he examined me he said i needed a c section there and then and would be put to sleep i screamed out No they totally ignored me and took me to theatre in theatre he was insisting i signed the concent forms i was refusing until he agreed to give me a spinal block or epidural he totally refused 10 minutes later (enough time to have given me a epidural) i signed the form under duress! during c section i hemeraged and needed a blood transfusion i was took to the ward and was refused to be able to see the baby they snatched out of me yet again! until the following day this baby was 2 month early and had to live the first month in hospital it was so hard having to be told if and when you could hold your baby i now have hardly any bond yet again with another baby (Thanks) since the operation i have been in really bad pain but i just cant trust any doctors anymore its now 2 years since this happened and the pain just seems to get worse and worse i suppose this is my punishment for giving in to the doctors

What could be improved

i personally think doctors should respect all mothers to be requests no matter what we have to live with our desisions for the rest of our lives why should we feel like rubbish because of going by what doctors say?