"My Grief Counselling with Inclusion Matters, Wirral"

My husband died in April 2017, 12 days after being admitted to hospital with pneumonia. He was placed on a ventilator and sedated while they tried to treat the infection. He was not responding and a few days later a CT scan revealed a tumour in his lung, which had already spread and was untreatable. It was recommended that life support be stopped in order to let him pass away peacefully. There was no hope of recovery and he passed away without regaining consciousness. We had been together nearly 41 years - 38 of them married. He was my rock and my best friend. I was completely devastated and so many emotions hit me all at once I didn’t know where to start sorting them out. My life fell apart and I didn’t know what to do.

I was referred to Inclusion Matters by my GP and I found the sessions invaluable. I had a lot of very difficult issues and feelings following my husbands’ death, and several times I had thought I would be better off dead. Week by week my therapist worked with me to process and make sense of my feelings, and she also helped me to clarify a lot of the issues I had with the circumstances of my husbands’ death - particularly the speed with which it happened and the guilt I felt because I had not realised he was so ill, and that I had not properly expressed my feelings for him at the end.

I felt safe talking to my therapist and it was good to talk to someone who was completely detached from my friends and family. I felt that I could say honestly what was on my mind without being judged and without upsetting or offending anyone, as may happen when talking with family and friends. Our discussions were wide ranging and explored some very deep and painful emotions at times, but my therapist allowed me the time and space to put my emotions into my own words and she guided me towards drawing my own conclusions. I am still grieving, but the sessions made me realise that the loss will always be with me, and that my husband and my marriage will always be part of my life. I feel that therapy gave me the tools to be able to face my life as it is now, and move forward. I felt well supported by both my therapist and my GP throughout, and I am very grateful to them for all their efforts on my behalf.