"My pregnancy/labour."

I had recently moved to a new city (3 years ago) to get away from some of my family members because they were quite overbearing and I wanted more freedom. So the only people I really knew were my partner his family and my friends from work. I told my midwife this. I felt that they totally went OTT and documented that I was vulnerable and that I was running away from an abusive Muslim household.

I was not vulnerable, I just didn’t have hundreds of friends. I was totally independent and knew my way around the city.

My family were not abusive at all! They were just strict and I was more westernised and wanted my own path in life.

I was not Muslim. At no point had I said I was Muslim. I was Asian, yes. Historically my family were Hindus but I and my parents were atheists.

They just completely assumed I was Muslim and that my family were abusive. This is important later.

Day of Birth:

So I started to feel some pain throughout the day and by 1am it was strong so I just wanted to go to the hospital for some pain meds and then I expected to go home. I just thought it was normal contractions. When they checked me, it turns out I was 5cm dilated so it was happening that day!

They gave me gas and air and left the room. Two hours later I felt like I needed to push. Midwives rushed back in. They said it was too late for an epidural so I just needed to push. I was losing so much blood and everything became dizzy and I could just see what felt like 10 doctors around me with hundreds of paper towels covered in blood. They inject something in me just before baby comes out.

This injection turns everything into a blur. I don’t even register that my baby has come out. My partner is holding her and I can only see double of everything and all the sounds sound really faraway. I hear one of the midwives ask if I need the toilet. I say yes but can they help me to the toilet. They roll their eyes and say I can manage myself. (This is further confirmed by my partner because I couldn’t believe their attitude). I take a few steps and collapse on the floor, start vomiting and then I black out. The midwife can’t even lift me up so my partner has to put the baby down and get me up himself.

After that they move me into another room and tell my partner to go home and have a rest and come back. This was where the mistake comes back to haunt us. They read my notes and move me into a room for “vulnerable” women. Even though I am not vulnerable!! They ban my partner from coming back. So I am all alone in the hospital for three days.

My arms are so weak from all the tubes they had in them so I couldn’t even lift my baby. I had to ask the midwives to change her and it felt like they were getting annoyed even though I physically couldn’t lift her!! I always had trouble with my legs during pregnancy and after the birth I could not walk at all. I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom so I didn’t drink anything all day because I was scared I was going pee the bed.

Finally the midwives changed shifts and I called the midwife crying because I needed the loo so bad and they were shocked no one had helped me to walk to the toilet. They were much better and helped me with my baby and was trying to find out why I was in the wrong ward.

Finally it was time to leave the hospital and the head midwife came and apologised profusely that the notes were wrong and that they had made a mistake. My partner could have been with me that whole time. He missed out on the first three days of his daughters life because of some assumptions some midwife made.