"Deflated and disappointed every time!"

I have had ongoing issues with an abdominal infection for months now. New surgery have been aware for several weeks. Even though my self swab results came back with a positive infection and the antibiotics I was given didn't work I have been repeatedly asked to do new swabs. The staff dealing with me haven't been all too patient or caring as I cannot for personal reasons have someone do swabs on me I have to do them myself. I understand the swabs I can do won't be as effective as ones a professional can do but I cannot help my past and how it controls me today. I don't deserve to be treat any different because I have issues from the past. I attended the surgery this morning to collect some swabs from reception as requested by the senior nurse practitioner but there were no swabs there. I was asked to take a seat and wait until they'd read their message sent from reception on the computer. unfortunately after 15 minutes I had to leave as I had another appointment to get to. Every time I speak to. New surgery staff, drs, nurses etc I'm always left feeling deflated and like I'm being a burden to people. This being the reason I won't push to get answers as to what is really wrong with me. So if down the line I find I have something wrong that with hugely impact on my life there's no one I can blame realistically but myself for not pushing harder for answers, But to me it will be new surgerys fault because staff don't seem to have any compassion or love for their jobs at all. I get sighed at, snapped at and spoken to like I have no common sense at all. It's degrading to say the least. How is this supposed to make people feel? I'll just carry on suffering in silence because I'm too frightened to get another gp elsewhere and have to explain my entire past all over again :( my understanding of a gp and other medical staff is that they're easy to approach and speak to. They're kind and helpful and put you at ease when potential medical problems terrify the life out of someone as mine does. My thoughts are always "cervical cancer" which is made so much more scary because I can't put my issues away to have relevant tests done. But no one has talked to me about it? At appointments no ones offered any advice on it. Just quick to get me on and back out again.