"Listen to patients more"

1 year & 4 months later, I'm reflecting on my experiences as a patient at Ty Llidiard.

I was an informal patient at Ty Llidiard for 2 months leading up to my 18th birthday, and was referred due to severe depression and concerns about my weight.

At first, a doctor and a nurse from the hospital came to my house to interview me. I didn't feel that I was being listened to at that point and was given an ultimatum that I could chose to go as an informal patient or be sectioned.

Before arriving at the hospital, I wasn't told what to expect. I had no idea how long I'd be staying there and was distressed when I was told that I'd be staying for at least 2 weeks. I didn't feel that the doctor understood why I was distressed.

I was given a menu and told to pick a meal out of it without being informed about the rules I was expected to follow around eating. I wasn't able to finish the meal and was told that it was a failure, and didn't feel that the nurse supervising me could understand my distress.

Upon entering my room, I found that the toilet was broken. The flush was constantly on, which made it difficult to sleep, and it was never fixed during my 2 months there.

During the first 2 weeks that I was at Ty Llidiard there was very little to do in terms of entertainment. It was the end of term so there was no school during the day and there was very little therapeutic input. Myself and the other patients had to entertain ourselves, but we were very bored.

During my first sessions with the doctor, I felt that they tried to convince me to take medication, despite me consistently saying that I didn't want to. They didn't seem to try to find out what my issues with medication were or try to help me work with it. Eventually they spoke with me about other things after I complained about this to another staff member.

After my first 2 weeks were over, it was recommended that I stay at Ty Llidiard for longer. I was given no formal diagnoses, despite asking to know why I had to stay there. The professionals at Ty Llidiard also refused to go through with my autism assessment that I was going to have at my community unit before being admitted (I have since been diagnosed with ASD).

After my first 2 weeks were over, school started up again. School was one of the few parts of my time at Ty Llidiard that I felt was pleasant. The teachers were kind and supportive, and it was a good way to break up the day.

We also began to take part in some other daily activities, such as music group, art therapy and yoga. I especially enjoyed music group and art therapy.

Over this time, my sessions with the doctor continued, however they also continued to be extremely distressing. I didn't feel that the doctor listened to anything that I said, and felt that every session they had a set idea in his mind of what they thought was wrong with me, and whatever I said would just prove what they already believed. For example, they often told me that I was in denial when I disagreed with him.

The doctor also failed to acknowledge achievements, while criticising losses. For example, when I gained a small amount of weight I was proud of this achievement, but I was told 'that isn't enough to be proud of', while when I lost less than I had gained this was made out to be a big deal. 

I would be in tears multiple times during my sessions with my doctor, however they never helped me to calm myself. I'd often leave the sessions extremely distressed and with no way to help myself healthily. As well as this, the doctor insisted that I had atypical anorexia and refused to listen when I tried to explain that my issues with food were more in line with sensory issues found in autistic people. Since leaving the hospital, I have had my explanation of my symptoms validated.

Overall, my experience at Ty Llidiard was overwhelmingly negative. While there were a few positive aspects, they don't made up for the bad. After leaving Ty Llidiard, I was left in a worse position than when I had entered.

In the future, I would like to see Ty Llidiard listen to patients more and to be more affirming of their achievements.