"Not good at all."

I've been coming to the pain clinic for a good few years. I transferred from the City so that all my notes were kept together.

Over the past 18 months my condition has worsened and my treatment has lessened. I've left my last two appointments in tears. My postcode doesn't fit anymore, although I've not moved for 11 years, so I don't qualify for half the treatment that could be offered on the NHS so I need to think about paying for them. Apparently there are treatments that could be offered by other consultants, like injections and infusions, but my consultant doesn't want to give me them because they could cause harm.

I've had injections before, and while they're not a permanent cure, they do give me a few weeks respite from the severe relentless pain that I'm in every single minute of every single day.

It was suggested that I could try cannabis oil. That's the third time it's been spoken about. What sort of harm does that do? It's not licensed or been used long term, or even legal.

The final suggestion was to see a pain clinic in Leeds. How will my postcode fit there if it doesn't fit when I live just outside Nottingham?

I left the appointment, as I have done the last two, feeling judged, let down, like they thought I was malingering and a liar. They've given me an open appointment for a year but I really can't see the point of it.