"Felt ignored in a crisis by this Trust"

I came to this Trust this March with an existing diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder made and unchallenged by a different mental health trust for about 10 years.

On being put in Hawthorne House for approximately 8 days and seeing a Dr there once who was not a Consultant, they then decided all of the Consultants at my previous trust were wrong. and according to them, I had always been misdiagnosed.

I was suicidal at the time so they assumed that I was self harming and I was totally ignored and not offered any anti depressant medication. This was not fleeting but had been going on for some weeks. The second time I saw them at discharge again for about ten minutes they ignored me when I stated I was suicidal I was discharged with no support at all because they decided I had EUPD. Which according to this trust suddenly appeared at the age of 53. I attempted suicide and had other symptoms which were ignored.

Three times, the police had to take me into the hospital before they actually did anything to help me because they assumed I self harm because of this diagnosis they gave me and according to them I am not depressed but do things for attention. I have more or less been told I am a liar. I don't according to them hear voices and am not psychotic. According to them I will recover from this disorder if I socialise more and go out and in about one year I will be like I was ten years ago according to them. This is condescending. I have told this trust that my mental health has become a lot worse for the past 4-5 years. to the point I have no motivation to do the things I once did, and have been ignored. I have previously been sectioned for major depression with psychosis but according to them I am not depressed. They are so determined to keep me in this diagnosis they gave me that they ignore absolutely everything I tell them and how difficult things are for me. This evening I phoned their crisis team and was also ignored. I feel that they treat me as if I am a nuisance.

Also I have received my mental health care records from Leeds York Partnership Foundation mental health trust from Hawthorne House Leeds West ICS.

I was sent to that intensive community service with a referral of mixed states bipolar and then depression with psychosis from my CMHT.

The first hour or so I was there and the first visit the Consultant tore up the prescription from my community Dr and stated -lets wait and see.  This is a service where people are sent as an alternative to hospital so are sent for a reason, that being their mental health has deteriorated. So in the meantime, I was some sort of psychiatric guinea pig and left. I was then told by the same Consultant that according to them, my current state which had already lasted for weeks had apparently been caused by moving house almost a year before! I don't think so. I was sent back to my CMHT after about one week with basically a diagnosis of a temporary moving house disorder, not my existing diagnosis of bipolar which I was reffered with and which I had for over 10 years with a previous trust, or depression and I was non medicated.

 My notes state according to the Consultant there, that I should not be on that unit because according to them the stress of my being there was making me worse. Untrue. I was told by the Consultant to come to the unit or not, to attend classes or not. This is supposed to be a day hospital. I have read their notes and although I was feeling suicidally depressed I was put on their green team because, they considered me to not have a mental illness. I was so depressed that I did not want to join their activity groups and this was seen as my being "difficult to engage" and actually viewed as part of that EUPD. At no point did I feel they actually even noticed I was depressed, simply because I was actually walking around. I was told after spending a night in hospital after taking alcohol with meds to make my own way there the next day. On being discharged about 7 days later, I told this Dr that I was still feeling suicidal. The medication I said had not after 2-3 weeks helped a great deal with my low mood, no motivation, my lack of personal care, or suicidal thoughts. I was discharged with no support at all and it was a Friday so no CMHT. Their uncaring attitude is appalling, as is the comments they have made about me in my medical notes.

 Absolutely disgusting is my view. That diagnosis is now on my medical records as is their untrue comments and presumptions about me, because in my view they are more concerned about fitting me into their incorrect diagnostic box than they are in actually treating my symptoms. If their idea is to treat the symptoms of someone with clinical depression and planned suicide ideas is to basically ignore them and leave them to act on it them.  I find them uncaring, unhelpful, generally unpleasant and makes statements in medical notes that are libellous. I am not the first person to have their diagnosis changed whilst at this unit either.

If I were EUPD then I would not have periods of stability and unstability when I am not on psychiatric medication. Nor would my moods sometimes come on for no reason. They insist on finding every excuse possible for the reason my mood symptoms started in March and there was none. I know myself and moods and it was nothing to do with a house move or anything else.