"After care I received after I had my baby"

After care following birth of my baby

I had my second baby 13 days overdue. I was determined for a vbac and was helped by a fabulous registrar who got me seen by a consultant who agreed to allow me to be induced.

It was a slow but amazing process and 14 hours later at 4: 30am she was born with the help of forceps. The Drs and 2 sets of amazing midwives couldn't have been better.

I got an epidural in the last hour or so when I had to go to theatre to be stitched I suppose they just topped up the pain relief. I felt nothing but joy. I did however have a 3rd degree tear.

I was in theatre for 2 hours. After the first hour they brought my baby to me so I could breastfeed her while I was being stitched. It was bliss because I had my baby. Everyone seemed so proud of me. That I'd done it. I was determined to have her naturally and to my mind I did.

I wasn't aware of how bad the damage was.

I was taken down and a couple of hours later taken to my ward.

Suddenly it changed. My care changed. My painkillers/anaesthetic wore off and I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. The pain was unbearable. I had my catheter in for 24 hours on recommendation of the surgeon and didn't get up until the next day. I couldn't move.

My urine bag was never changed enough. It would almost burst it was so full. I asked for it to be changed one too many times I suppose and I was given a smaller urine bag so I could walk with it and was told to empty it myself.

I wasn't shown how to empty it but after making a bit of a mess I worked it out.

I felt so dirty and was eventually able to stand long enough to shower myself.

Paracetamol wasn't helping at all. I was begging and crying for pain relief. Literally crying. When My husband asked why I wasn't being given adequate pain relief he was told because the ones they'd likely give me were sold on the streets. That just made me feel like some kind of criminal even asking for them. I just wanted painkillers. I saw 2 Drs during this time who reluctantly agreed to give me something. Diahydracodine. I was only allowed 2 tablets and then had to ask for 2 more hours later. They wouldn't allow me to be given them regularly. The nurses found this very annoying. I was buzzing them every 4 or so hours. I was made to feel bad for buzzing. I was always attended to promptly after buzzing but someone would come, look at me, leave before I'd finished explaining and not come back. I had to go to the desk then to remind them that an hour ago I asked for pain relief- could they help me please. Then about half hour later someone would come with tablets and be obviously moody about it.

I didn't know when I was able to have more but could feel the pain rise up again when they wore off. It was enough relief to allow me to hold and breastfeed my baby. The pain even with the tablets was horrendous.

I had a c section with my first baby and knew that pain.

I was definitely made to feel that I'd had a natural birth so I should just get on with it.

I was made to feel like a weak person for asking for pain relief. A nuisance.

Eventually a physio came to see me and suddenly I was treated with respect again. Like a vulnerable person who needed support and I was given it.

They took me to the physio dept and started me on ultrasound therapy.

When I returned to the ward I was offered a bath and although I still had to ask for each and every tablet they did reluctantly give them to me a little quicker. I know the physios spoke up for me.

The nurses who discharged me were so curt and dismissive. I was given some paracetamol home with me. I didn't ask for it but the nurse said I should never have been given it and it wasn't policy. I felt like I was stealing them. I told her to keep them but she said they were in my name now and that was that. I left the hospital in tears and am crying now when I think of how I was made to feel. I was made to feel like a stupid little girl who was overreacting.

My baby is 16 weeks old.

I am healing and feel good.

The physio dept discharged me. They have been amazing.

I know the staff on the maternity wards are busy.

I just don't want another woman to be belittled and made to feel weak or troublesome because she's asking for pain relief.

I don't want another woman to be given less/no support simply because it isn't her first baby.

I don't want another woman to feel guilty for asking the staff on the ward for help.

I don't want another woman to be dismissed at her most vulnerable point.

Thank you.