"Ashbrook"

I wrote this poem( amongst many others), whilst an inpatient at Lynfield Mount in March 2010. And would like to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to those members of BDCT staff on the ward, inparticular my consultant my Advocate from BAMHAG, and the PALS, who all worked together at helping me to feel safe again.

ASHBROOK

These Lilac Wall soften the blow

Of my mind racing - always on the go.

These lilac walls provide space to think

A place I feel safe - when I'm on the brink.

These Lilac walls with too-ing and fro-ing

Lots of People coming and going

A place for me to fade away

Into insignificance for the day

These Lilac walls day after day

Help my anguish ebb away

These lilac walls echo my past

Memories spill out thick and fast

These lilac walls that I cannot escape

Protect me from my past mistakes

Keeping me safe from acting upon

My inner most thoughts of death liaison.

These lilac walls help me work out

And come to terms with what I'm about.

These Lilac walls give me time and space

That I don't allow myself in any other place

I'm told these Lilac walls are depressing

And for many women - seemingly distressing

I'm told these Lilac walls - with nothing to do

Can cause many women, problems a new.

These Lilac walls could be improved -

To cater for their many changing moods.

These Lilac walls with resources a mock

A service regimented by the hands of the clock.

These Lilac walls for me - have been a saving grace.

Giving me solace - within a safe place

These Lilac walls, offer me dinner and Tea

And at this present time - feels the best place to be.