"I just want a bit of help to see what alternatives there are"

I have a long term depressive illness. I have quite a few different diagnosis' over the years. The last psychiatrist I saw 3 years ago was wonderful. Unfortunately she retired after I had seen her about 4 times only. She had referred me to the CMHT for support during a period of medication change. As far as the CMHT are concerned they have done all they can for me and the fact that my depression continues (and my quality of life is very poor) it is my own fault because I am unable to make the changes in my life they think will magically cure my depression. I am still on meds and under the care of my GP.

Prior to retiring my psychiatrist suggest a particular medication which had produced excellent results in the past but to which I had experienced severe side effects. The medication was to be given at a smaller dose alongside another medication alleviate the side effects. However, I never got the presrcription despite telephoning the CMHT twice. And then my psychiatrist had retired and sent out a letter explaining how I would be passed to a new psychiatrist. I never heard from anyone again.

I suffer day to day, struggling with life and doing my best to survive when I would rather not. I have nowhere to go for help as the likelihood of rejection by the CMHT could be the last straw so to speak. I was told I could phone them anytime but they should know from my records that I find asking for help extremely difficult (for the aforementioned reasons). The one time I did ask for help I was told I had become 'dependent on services' although it was over a year since I had any contact with them. I am not dependent on services I am just severely depressed but know that the CMHT see me as a waste of their time and a drain on resources. I can also access our local resource centre but I find this not very helpful when I am feeling very low. I don't want to be a drain and I don't want loads of time spent on me - just a bit of help to see if what alternatives there are medication wise. I am suffering very much but I don't think they believe me.