"Inadequate."

I went for an assessment with a nurse to determine whether I could get any therapy or support from the CMHT. The person who did my assessment was rather cold and seemed to not really be taking me seriously. They were so clinical and unwilling to communicate on a humanistic level that I (having a condition which I struggle to control) got more and more agitated and wound up I left in total distress, floods of tears and it took me well over the week to calm down from the heightened state of distress the interview put me in.

I all honesty I was rude and out of line in the way I behaved at the end of the interview, I used an expletive and I tried to get back in the room to resolve matters. This didn't help as I just frightened my assessor. I am not violent, but thy were not to know this.

However I do also feel very strongly that given my unpredictable behaviour is part of the problem i'm seeking help for, and given that I am technically 'vulnerable' as a person who has intentionally overdosed in the past, it would have been responsible of the CMHT to follow up my walking out of the unit with a phone call to my next of kin to check on my welfare. I also ticked the box to be copied in on all correspondence which they have not done.

I feel badly let down so far, I am embarassed to behave badly always, but I do also think that the person I saw had no skill or empathy with which to diffuse the situation. I wonder why they work in this type of environment when they clearly can't cope with crazy people being crazy, only coping when they do what is expected of a sane rational person.

I am not choosing to lose control, it is humiliating, I am sorry for being rude or threatening. But I do wish that the people at the CMHT came across a little more wise and caring and a little less clinical and arrogant.