"I would really appreciate some guidance"

My child had an operation at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital. It was knee surgery that involved putting metal plates on his knee and cutting his hamstrings. He was given a spinal block for pain relief - which really seemed to help. When the spinal block wore off he was given other pain relief drugs.

He was prescribed pain relief 4 times a day and other pain relief drugs as required.

This situation is made complicated by several difficulties my child facies.

My child's other parent and I – we have different views on pain medication.

The child's other parent felt that the child didn’t need his pain medication, so only gave him less than 1 eighth of the recommended dose of pain relief, less than one third of one of the others – even after it was explained that this helps with the healing process– he was worried that giving him the recommended dose would be over medicating him – he did note that the little boy was in pain but might have been making more of a fuss than he needed to. 

My perspective was that he was a vulnerable little boy, who may not be able to clearly understand and communicate his pain, I did not think the doctor would have prescribed an amount that would have caused long term damage.

My question comes here, a nurse supported the other parents decision not to give anywhere near the proper dose of painkiller. Less than two weeks after the operation he stopped giving pain relief altogether.

This is an ethical question – in this situation what should a nurse do – and what should guide their decision? I would really appreciate some guidance or where I might get that guidance from.

Thank you