"Dealing with mental health"

I have bipolar with audible hallucinations. Because of this, I'm rather paranoid, cannot handle change and do not find it easy to meet new people. On top of this, my mum (who was always my best friend) died, leaving me with my brother and heavily disabled dad.

I have been treated in the wallington center for years now. And I've hated every minute of it. Each appointment feels rushed and impersonal. One coordinator discharged me falsely I think because they wanted some success stories. This coordinator also turned up at my house with a man that I have never met before. It is obvious that they didn't think about my state of health once.

Of course, I was readmitted and have never really felt welcome. The one coordinator that I really got along with is leaving the center. We only had one session. I was not told of their leaving until I called myself. So, now I am being passed on to someone else again, much like a doll. Do you know how many people I have had to tell my story to? Too many. And I hate it. There is no consistency in my care and it leaves my mind more messed up than when I began this whole trip.

It is hard for me to get out and about. Every time I visit the center, I have to psych myself up for it. So imagine my upset when I get there and they tell me that my appointment has been cancelled and someone was supposed to ring me. I later had a phonecall to tell me it was cancelled, about an hour after my appointment was supposed to take place.

I feel alone. I feel constantly abandoned. I feel that no one really cares. Who am I supposed to trust?