"Still having nightmares about my experience here"

I had my baby in October at Wexham Park and I still cry every day thinking about my experience. It all started well enough I was aloud in the hospital at 3cm as had not felt the baby kick the day my contractions started. I was stuck at 3cm for about 18 hours and I had talked to a doctor about having my waters broke to get things moving, I said I didn't mind but must have an epidural if that's what they wanted to do as knew it can make labour more painful. The doctor told me to get to 4cm by myself then I could have an epidural. I was put in a room called the bubble which was very nice to start with as I had a lady who gave me a very nice massage. Then the contractions started to get very painful!! I ask the massage lady to get a midwife to see If I was 4cm yet as hadn't been checked in almost 7 hours and was sure I had progressed. She came back and said no one was coming, they were too busy! 2 hours later someone came to check me and I was finally 4cm. But while she was there she broke my waters without telling me first. She said not to worry I would be going to the labour ward very shortly to have an epidural and in the meantime they would give me some pethadin to help with the pain. Nobody came! The pain was so bad my body was not ready for the shock!! It was like being electrocuted time and time again, I screamed so loud I'm sure the whole floor could hear me. The lady who broke my waters finally came back and told me they were now too busy in the labour ward to see me. I asked about the pethadin but she said they was only one women on the ward who could give me it and she was too busy too! I was in hell and this went on for 3 hours. I begged and begged for more pain relief but none came. I was just left with the poor massage lady who didn't know how to help me. In the end I was begging my husband to kill me as I was in so much pain. Finally the one women in the ward who could give the pethadin finally came after 3 hours!!! It doesn't take long it's just an injection for goodness sake. She gave me the injection without checking how far I had progressed and turns out I was 9 1/2 cm!! I gave birth about 30 mins after the injection so was really out of it. When I finally got to the labour ward they said my baby's heartbeat was weak and the baby must get out fast. How long had my baby's heartbeat been weak? They hadn't checked it for about 12 hours. Thank goodness I got the baby out fine, I think I just wanted the pain to be over and managed it in 3 pushes. I just wished they had not broken my waters A) they should of told me they were gonna do it and B) they should of giving me more pain relief after doing it as it's very likely to make contractions much worse. Like I said I still cry everyday thinking about the birth, my health visiter tried to make an appointment with a midwife so I could talk to someone about it but the hospital didn't want to know.