"It wasn't really a failure, my body had got pregnant, there had been a baby"

I had brown spotting as well as what I thought was Norovirus so went to hospital after having not eaten or drunk anything in days. Upon admission to A and E I was asked for a urine sample and in front of one male nurse, and two female nurses, one came barging in with the result confirming I was pregnant, asking if it was planned but saying it was now too late. I confirmed I wouldn't lie about such things and that this was my first baby. Was put on a drip and sent home. The brown spotting continued and I went for a scan. The term 'failed pregnancy' was thrown around which broke my heart. It wasn't really a failure, my body had got pregnant, there had been a baby. After going back and forth to the hospital every 48 hours for hormone tests they decided to tell me not to come back in as the pregnancy wouldn't continue. I had a complete miscarriage at home at 7 weeks in Jan '13 and I never dealt with health professionals after that. I had hoped there would at least be counselling for me and my partner.

I got pregnant in July and am due in a few weeks. At my 16 week appointment with the midwife, she was filling out the notes and asked if I'd had previous pregnancies, to which I said yes I had a miscarriage in January. Without looking up from her paper and box ticking exercise she ambivalently asked in an unsympathetic tone if I was over that. I replied I didn't think I'd ever get over it completely but we were well enough to try again. Box ticked, no comment or sympathy, and it has never been mentioned again in my antenatal care.