"Absolutely Shocking"

I have had 2 births at the women's, both absolutely appalling. My first birth on 18.17.09 I was left without being checked on for hours at a time, my mum was with me and could tell i was going into transition, I was getting the urge to push but the midwife insisted I was only 5cm dilated and had hours to go yet. My mum asked her to check me because she thought that information was wrong, and the midwife refused and said it was policy to check every 4 hours and no more. In heinsight I was obviously going into 2nd stage. I had this birth in the pool eventually, this was my first baby and I had no idea what I was doing. I hadnt been told i was in the 2nd stage, so i got a shock when I crowned. I got no guidence what so ever about when to push. I pushed so hard even when i didnt have a contraction that my baby flew out all in one go and hit the bottom of the pool. As you can imagine, I tore horribly and passed out on the floor shortly after the delivery. 2nd Birth 22.01.13 I came in with pains 4 mins apart and requesting an epidural. Me and my partner got put in a room and left for over an hour until I couldnt take the pain any more and sent him out in search of a midwife. He saw a group of them standing around talking. The midwife tried to put me off an epidural. I broke down in hysterics at the very idea of not having one, yet she still stubbonly stuck by her decision not to let me have one. She lied to me on several counts. *She said I was 4cm dilated, then when I asked for epidural said oh no actually you're 7cm *she said an epidural wouldnt stop me feeling tearing (which is what i was most terrified of) *she eventually said she had gone to ask for one, but after the birth admitted she hadnt, and expected me to be pleased that she hadnt?!! I tore again, got an infection and my stitches fell out 3 days later. A week after the birth i passed a big chunk of what looked like placenta and membranes. It had a foul smell and i am convinced it caused my infection. Im now 9 months post partum stuggling with a gaping perineum where my tear has healed in 2 pieces. Im fighting for my right to corrective surgery while Miss adams the surgeon, has been rude to me and fobbed me off and told me to live with it!! Absolute disgrace to the medical profession.