"overstretched staff with an anxious mum"

My pregnancy was pretty straightforward bar a few bumps in the road but my mental health suffered.

Context- My anxiety was high, my job was unsympathetic to covid and family history of still birth/birth complications.

The start of my journey in the community was thorough, information and support was great. My mental health decreased and I was referred to the clinic. Wonderful support but like gold dust to get an appointment.

Appointment 1 great.

Appointment 2 - receptionist on booking failed to mention that it was a telephone appointment - cue unnecessary stressful trip into Aberdeen maternity to be told it's by the phone - cue anxiety attack.

Appointment 3 via telephone postpartum which was arranged for a specific date/time - I'm still currently waiting for the phone call that was scheduled (2 months later). I've slipped through the net.

Community midwifery - Wonderful overstretched ladies that wouldn't hesitate to get you the help that's needed. However a series of things made me slowly lose confidence, they were none intentional, I know this, however it had a large impact on my anxiety.

  

1. I have a high BMI, family history of pre-eclampsia and still birth and during an appointment my midwife got a bit confused having to deal with a student too and took me off the red scanning pathway which I should have been on the whole time. I didn't think to question but it didn't feel right to me. Between then and my next appointment I had a series of low movements which ended in scans. On my next appointment she put me back on it and said it was an error. 

2. Measurements/birthing details of another mum to be were updated onto my medical notes as she had the same name. I received a text to say sorry this had happened and that it would get removed, however I again ended up in hospital the same night for low movements and high blood pressure. I was kept in and had to explain that what you see on my notes may not be mine. My question is: what if I hadn't been able to tell the hospital staff this information? My care could have been different due to information that was not mine? I don't blame my midwife, I blame her workload.

3. I asked to be seen in Aberdeen for my next set of observations as I was beginning to lose real confidence. I was seen at the day unit in the maternity hospital, my observations were done by a student, nobody else present and I wasn't asked if this was okay but I didn't say anything.

Obs looked fine and I politely asked one question that on my notes (the limited terribly unpublished notes you get to see on your phone) that there was blood in my last urine sample and another infection marker which I forget the name of, I wonder if you could tell me what that means and if the lovely lady in triage downstairs had sent them away for further investigation which she said she might have to do but would check with the doctor on shift (I never knew if she did or not which was why I asked the question)?

10 seconds later a midwife (I think) went at me reducing me to tears with her aggressive body language and tone. Saying it wasn't 'clinically right' multiple times that I should question anyone's judgment, still continuing as I was in tears telling me that I can't control things going on around me in hospital and that I certainly couldn't control how things went in labour or after birth. Clearly saying these things as she had read my notes. She clearly had had a bad day, didn't have much experience with mental health and didn't have a bedside manner. Even the student was taken aback. I left the hospital, sobbing. I never wanted to see that midwife again. 

4. I went back to my community midwife determined to open up about how I was feeling and what had happened, including how I felt after the notes, scan errors. I did and she was lovely, so I felt better. Only to notice that she had updated my notes to say I was unhappy with the care I had received in triage. It wasn't triage, which made an already anxious mum even worse as I ended up in triage to be induced and having to explain that what they read on the notes with regards to my care in triage was not true and that the times I had been to triage the care had been exemplary. They did not need to see that, they were all so hard working.

Labour- the best care I could of imagined, I felt safe, listened to and in control from triage right through to labour ward and theatres for my tear. My baby was very distressed but they kept me and my husband very calm. I laboured in five hours and was able to use my tips from the relaxation revolution class. I was also a student midwife's final birth. The Summerfield ward were exceptional, without them I still wouldn't be breastfeeding.

Finally, relaxation revolution was the BEST class. It armed me with the best advice, tips and techniques to keep me going with my anxiety through pregnancy , labour and beyond. I couldn't get my name out at the start of the class from just how anxious I was but it really is the best class and Invaluable to my birth.

Please support our midwives they are overstretched.