"I will never forget how lovely they were to my boy"

I want to share my experiences in the Southern Health Trust under maternity care at Daisy Hill Hospital. We've been going though such a difficult time through the loss of our baby boy, but the service was amazing. I don't think staff hear enough of this. I want to share my story so that these people can know just how important they have been to me, and so other health services can maybe learn from how well we were treated. I think services have as much to learn from compliments as they do from criticism.

This was the most difficult thing our family has ever faced.

We knew early on that our baby had Edward Syndrome. We were absolutely devastated as a family. But what was reassuring was how transparent, how up front, and how non judgemental all the staff were as they followed us at our pace, following us over our journey. They helped us come to terms with what it all meant.

Each visit, they tried to make sure we would see the same consultant as much as possible, and the same bereavement midwife and other staff. All the staff knew our circumstances so I didn't have to go through the process of explaining it again and again. 

It was such an incredibly difficult experience, but I was constantly impressed with how loving, how kind, how generous, and how supportive each person was. They gave us as much privacy as possible, they signposted us to other services and helped us to reach out and contact other parents who were going through similar things. It was difficult but necessary and it helped us a lot.

They always listened to us. They listened to me even when I was upset and wasn't making much sense, they always listened, and they always took on board what I had to say. They gave us all the information about my boy's condition, they got us to meet all the the staff who would be involved so we were given time to meet everybody as a person.

They made it so I could enjoy and cherish the little time I got to spend with my boy. They helped us make memories, footprints and such. These things are so important to us. They made sure his siblings were involved and were given a chance to meet him before he passed away.

The whole team showed such teamwork, and they gave such dignity, such respect and were so kind to my little boy. They all came in to pay their respects. As awful as it was, it was so comforting that he got to meet such beautiful, kind people.

They gave us a separate room, which was crucial for people in our circumstances. It meant we didn't have to hear the cries of other families who were going through very different experiences. It gave us a separate area where we could come to terms with our loss in our own time. This was crucial.

The Bereavement midwife was very significant. She was amazing with all her support, and she continues to support and continues to be amazing, she still checks up to see how I am doing. I am so incredibly grateful for all that support.

 There was nothing more they could ever have done. I will never forget how lovely they were to him. All we ever want is the best for our kids, and that is what these people gave to my son, albeit for a very short time.