"Anxiety and Depression"

I have been suffering from Anxiety/Depression for a long time now.

Each Day I find it very hard to go out of the House. About 2 weeks ago I decided on Impulse to take an overdose of Proprandol Tablets. This was on a Friday evening and I felt awful afterwards.

On the Saturday I decided to contact 111 just to ask for advice. They advised me to attend A and E Dept at the Northern General Hospital which I did do and managed to go on my own.

I was then taken to the Outpatients Clinical Decisions Unit where I felt calmer and was quite comfortable. Was there for 2 days.

A few days ago a Support Worker came to see me from the Home Assessment Team and I went with her into Rivelin. Afterwards I tried to go to the shops which didn't happen and I went to a pub in the city centre. Enjoyed some drinks. Ended up getting a taxi then stopping of at a Pizza Place, takeaway in Crookes, before going home.

I become anxious when I am out, however it feels better getting the fresh air. I have quite a good home life. There are times when I have become aggressive towards my parents. I am usually kind and very caring though.

I have been trying diazepem tablets which do help a little. I just want to get back to my usual, bubbly self and try to decide what I really want to do with my life.

Most days I feel its easier to stay in bed and in the house, which I know is not doing me any good.

My Mum is 80 years old this week and I would like to do something special for her, although she isn't really bothered about celebrating it. I started with this well before Covid 19.

I am going to be having Support Workers come to the house to help get me out. I don't have a routine anymore. There are things I love doing like going to the shops and buying food, shopping for Clothes too. I do have a few friends, however they have their own lives.

I have worked in the Caring Industry for over 10 years and have always worked well in communicating with people. Now I receive carers allowance which I am happy with.

I have also done voluntary work in a charity shop. I just feel at present that I need help with going to appointments. I spent too much time in my bedroom.

I used to enjoy going on holidays, going for day trips too. Sometimes I order things on a credit card because its easier to do it online, so that I don't have to go out. I know in my mind that I want to get better. It is a easier said than done though.