"Uncertain future."

Admitted due to severe breathlessness, presumably due to worsening of aortic stenosis. Stuck for days in room with Covid contact patient who went out of hospital to smoke, socialise and enjoy 'carry-out' food provided by a non-tested member or members of public. Nights of no sleep as they phoned on various phones.

Finally moved to cardiac ward once this patient was gone, room sanitised and Covid checked. Met cardiologist but my further examination had been delayed by previous experience. After tests including echocardiogram and angiogram, it was agreed ( so I thought) that my heart surgery was in sight.   (I did offer to pay privately to expedite matters, but told to keep my money for going on holiday after I had been treated! ( Moderate/severe damage to aortic valve and artery damage).

I was told needed 1 more test ( the 'bicycle test'. ) to complete picture.   Home alone coping with severe breathlessness and fall worries ( was rated as vulnerable in hospital) for safety from Covid etc, ) until test in May. Have to arrange own transport and someone to wheelchair me to respiratory department. Have been referred to surgeon but nothing re operation dates. Totally stressed out as no further info, while at 77yrs.

I struggle physically and mentally as I await some indication on date for op.   Now on Diazepam for anxiety. Just don't know where to turn next. Left feeling tearful and shaken. Breathless at times even without exertion. Nobody to help. No pathway given for required operation. Nobody to take my concerns forward. Feeling defeated. Don't know how long I can last like this, physically or mentally.