"Midwife interactions"

I’m pregnant and my closest hospital is NPH - 1st pregnancy and I was naive to think the Maternity dept would be different to the rest of the hospital (I have had terrible experiences there!), so I agreed to be referred there. 

During the period between 2nd & 3rd covid lockdown they went back to normal face to face appts, so I had my booking in appt with a senior midwife. I attended on time, but the waiting room was chaos, inadequate measures to ensure everyone could safely keep their distance (the entire waiting room was chock full of expectant mums, mainly from BAME & high risk backgrounds). After waiting a while & slowly becoming more anxious when more and more women stood/sat dangerously close to me, I was finally called in. When I had called the office the day before, I was told my partner could come to all appts, however the midwives had no knowledge of this and wouldn’t let my partner in. Minor inconvenience as it wasn’t a scan, but disappointing for him as it’s our 1st child and he’s so excited. 

The interaction with the midwife started pleasantly enough, they explained what the purpose of the appt was, and got right to it. There are supposed to be distancing measures in the blood test room, but I was surrounded closely by trainee nurses who were staring uncomfortably at me. The lady in the next cubicle was being verbally abused by the midwife/nurse and it really wasn’t a great experience. 

Back in the consultation room, we started to get to the list of exhausting questions - the midwife seemed far too focussed on whether I own my property or not, and then we got to the mental health section. 

I’m suffering with extreme morning sickness (4-5 times a day), family members of mine have been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarium, and it’s taken a real toll on my mental health. I was trying to explain all of this to the midwife, when they just raised their hand at me to be quiet and said that they are only interested in knowing whether there’s any schizophrenia in my family. In a pandemic, in a world where mental health is discussed with great emphasis and when maternal mental health is taken so seriously, I was shocked to be treated this way. I know someone who really struggled with depression through pregnancy, leading to severe post partum depression where she hurt her child too, and although it may seem trivial to others, I thought a midwife would at the very least try to be a bit empathetic and reassuring. 

They went on and on with questions, peppered with information for me (delivered inconsistently so I really didn’t get to take much in). They then returned to the sickness issue I had raised and asked me to run through a typical day. I explained, I eat small meals throughout the day with crackers etc etc but I still throw up and I’m waking up through the night too (the night before I had woken up at 2am with a strong urge to throw up, which I then did in the bin at my bedside). They looked at me, laughed and pointedly asked me was I sure I was waking up at 2am to vomit? Was I sure it's not just all in my head? Or was I setting and alarm? At this point I asked for my notes to be finished and to leave the appointment - I wasted 2 hours in that room to be treated this way and I had no interest in discussing my pregnancy any further. It’s clear the midwife was going to be no help whatsoever. 

Since then I received a letter stating my Vit D is dangerously low, and I had asked for additional iron & b12 tests at the request of my GP so I called to check whether they’d also been done. We’re now in the 3rd lockdown, with risk levels so high & major incidents declared across london, and the midwife wanted me to and sit in their waiting room for a doctor to find time inbetween patients to discuss said results with me, and then to go on to the hospital pharmacy to collect supplements. They shouted down the phone when I said I don’t want to visit the hospital unless absolutely necessary, and refused to share the results with my GP - wanted me to collect the print out from her and take it myself! Luckily my GP is fantastic & clearly unknown to the midwives, something called the internet exists so they could easily see the results, get a prescription & care plan sorted and get the prescription to the local pharmacy too. 

This kind of treatment by midwives is ridiculous, and I have subsequently moved my maternity care to another (much better) hospital, although much further away. I’ve felt completely dismissed, ignored and I really don’t think the level of care they offered took my needs into account at all. The new hospital is 40 mins drive away, I’d much rather take the risk of giving birth in my car than ever go back to NPH maternity.