"My experience giving birth."

I went into labour at 35 weeks. I was examined on entry and put into the observation ward. And forgotten about. I entered the ward near midday and was not checked for progression until much later that day.

I vomited during my VE and as a result was told that I had to have IV fluids. I had no less than 9 attempts at putting a line in as everytime I moved to get comfortable they were coming out. I was convinced that I was in labour. I was however still able to move and hold conversation and was told frequently by the staff on the desk whenever I went out to see if they could check me, move me somewhere, make me more comfortable that I wasn't in labour yet. They very kindly informed me that it was my first baby and that I'd be ages yet, to go and lie down and get some rest. The third time I was told this I was fighting the urge to push being told that it was merely the baby coming down the birth canal. It took me being in floods of tears to be given any pain relief stronger than the two paracetamol I had on admission. 

They informed me that they would be sending my partner home in the next half an hour (it was late evening now) despite me telling them that I was ready to push but of course, silly me, it was a first baby I'd be ages yet, was the reply. For the 4th time. 

It took the change over of staff for me to be examined with the new staffs words being some things not right here, turned out I was 10cm and had been for some time. My baby was born at that night.

I did all of my labouring on the observation ward with the full audience of 5 other women, their partners and their visitors who were commenting on my state as they walked past me to get out of the ward.

I felt ignored, disregarded and what should have been the most empowering event of my life was devoid of autonomy. I wasn't offered anything all day, no food, no water, no pain relief or privacy.

I've asked for a debrief from the head of midwifery, I've made a complaint but a very convenient pandemic has meant that still, a year later I still cry at the thought of my birth experience. To say that yes, my baby is healthy invalidates my experience and is belittling. I am now having treatment from mental health for PND and PTSD, my birth experience being a contributory factor.

I wanted to give birth at home and only admitted because my baby was premature. Hopefully subsequent children will be born at home because I am not receiving care from that hospital again. 

I haven't even discussed the treatment I had for the HG during my pregnancy.