"Sensitivity and thoughtfulness sometimes missing from miscarriage care"

I went for an early scan at 11 weeks at Heartlands Hospital. The news was a complete shock and the sonographer was kind at delivering the news.

The lead midwife for Early Pregnancy and Miscarriage care came to talk to me in a private room. I had my husband on the phone as due to Covid, he was not allowed to attend the scan. She basically asked me to hang up on him so she could go through the next steps.

I was distraught by this and it was only then that she said that she was sorry (although I'm not sure if it was about my loss or about my husband not being on the call). Because of the shock, I didn't really take in what she was saying, so having my husband on the phone would have been really helpful.

I hope they look to review this or have a procedure in place before they make women go through this completely alone. If they are not allowed a partner/friend there in person, having someone on speaker phone may be comforting to the patient.

I carried out the rest of my care at Good Hope Hospital and opted for medical management. Everyone was lovely and my husband was able to stay with me as we had our own room.

Only one point on patient care - this was a devastating loss for me and it was minimised a bit by one nurse saying I was young and could have more kids. Although that point may be true, I am grieving the loss of a child I very much wanted and I don't think you can replace children just by having more. Healthcare professionals should be aware that patients may feel this way so they do not minimise pain by telling them 'not to cry'.