"My story"

I went through a lot of physical and mental abuse as a child, mainly from my father but my mother also was a part in it.

It all culminated in my father being removed by the Police, but my mother refusing to let us press charges, she had her reasons but this of course left my younger brother and I with a lot of unresolved issues.

I first reached out to get some help when I was younger, I knew I was struggling, I didn't feel it helped me then as I wasn't at a stage in my life where I was ready or able to take in what the therapist was saying.

I then moved out of the family home at the age of 24, which caused more upset as my mum believed I was abandoning her.

After a while I knew I really needed help, I was suffering with suicidal thoughts and I knew I didn't feel safe in myself. 

I took the first step and spoke to my GP, I felt embarrassed admitting everything I was feeling, but the GP was brilliant and very understanding. She referred me for counselling.

I initially attended three group appointments, I wasn't too sure about this, but I was able to bring my partner which helped, I actually found the group appointments to be quite helpful, I learnt a lot about the different types of therapy and what would be best for me.

I then started seeing Barrie at the Thurrock Mind centre in Grays in early 2019. He was extremely easy to talk to and I found our appointments helped so much!

I didn't think I would ever be this confident or comfortable in myself, but after a few visits I already noticed a change in myself.

I have now completed my therapy visits, I didn't feel rushed to complete, it was all done around when I felt safe and confident. The time I spent with Barrie has really changed my life and I can't thank him enough.

I still have ups and downs but I now know these are normal, nothing to be ashamed of and I also have my coping mechanisms.

If I hadn't of made that first step, spoken to my GP and continued with the path I was sent down, there is no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be here anymore. I'm so thankful to everyone, especially Barrie but I'm also so proud of myself!