"Not the place to be if terminating wanted..."

I visited the Marie Stopes clinic for a surgical abortion at 14weeks & 4 days and had to terminate for medical reasons.

I felt like I didn't belong there as my pregnancy was very much a wanted pregnancy as oppose to what felt like a place for unwanted pregnancies.

Unfortunately I had no place left to go for my termination - at this stage the NHS were only able to offer medical - involving being induced & delivering my baby on the labour ward which felt too traumatic for me.

As I was up against time, given how far along I was - I really wanted the D&E versus the D&C because it had less risks - so Marie Stopes was the only place I could go.

I arrived at 8:25am - then was taken to the "ward" and at 9:40am I was given tablets to dilate my cervix and asked to change from the waist down into a paper sarong with disposable knickers.

I had to wait for just over 2&1/2 hours before being admitted for surgery.

I didn't experience any pain after taking the tablets - just very mild cramps but what I found distressing was that the waiting area pre-procedure is also the recovery area post-procedure and I experienced 2&1/2 hours of witnessing other girls wailing & crying in distress & pain - some pre & some post op which made me feel incredibly anxious.

You do feel like you're treated like cattle on a conveyor belt, lined up, waiting your turn - whilst the nurses were kind enough to offer me a blanket, hot water bottle & magazines whilst I waited, there was a lack of compassion given my circumstances.

You are all treated the same, there is no acknowledgement that you are terminating because your baby is sick & can't survive - this I found difficult and anyone else in a similar position might struggle.

I was offered contraception about 6 times during my time there but declined as my partner and I were trying for a baby - again despite this I was given condoms when I left - which reiterates my point - it didn't feel like the place to be if you had a wanted pregnancy.

At 12:20pm I was summoned into surgery - I had a short 5 min wait before entering treatment room where they had to do some paperwork.

Then I was called in.

The team introduced themselves and I was put at ease - asked to get on to the bed and they ensured I was covered up the whole time.

I had to put my feet into stirrups then 30 seconds later I was under general anaesthetic and in a deep sleep - didn't feel a thing.

Next thing I remember was waking up in a chair on the "ward".

Fortunately I didn't experience any pain whatsoever when I came round, I felt a bit woozy but generally quite calm and relaxed.

The nurses gave me tea and biscuits, I waited for an hour before I was allowed to get dressed, leave and go home around 2:30pm.