"Completely without help"

I went to this centre after I had come out of a 4 day stay in a mental health hospital for a suicide attempt. I was already apprehensive as, on the last day of my hospital stay when I finally got to see a member of staff i had an awful experience.  The staff member was rude to my family member, laughed whilst explaining there is no help for me, and refused to offer any help beyond sending me to an alcohol addiction centre because they blamed alcohol for all my problems.

When I got to the new centre low and behold the same team had taken my case and i had to sit through more of their vile bedside manner. I was refused any other help than the alcohol addiction centre and once even snapped at family member to keep quiet. So I did as i was told, I went to the centre I got my alcohol under control and there was a hope that they would finally offer me some help. No. Refused again. Said that since I was with the centre they couldn't offer anything. They were again rude to my mother making this the third time and said some very hurtful things.

Before my appointment I had been to a and e after I had self harmed. This was completely dismissed, commenting that it was only a little artery. Then when my family member complained that all the services we can access without help charge money, we were told that's what benefits are for. This especially made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. I don't like being on benefits. I volunteer most of the week just so I can justify it. I'm too ill for a job which is what they are supposed to be helping me with. I've paid for my own therapy before which I had to stop because I could no longer afford it. 

At the end of the session the team reluctantly contacted carrgomm to help me. I haven't heard anything from them yet and it's been over a month. I've also stopped going to the centre because my therapist doesn't think they can help me as my problems are so much more severe and complicated than alcohol dependency. So I'm completely without help now. I am constantly thinking about suicide in self harming more and i just don't know what to do any more. It really does feel like the nhs don't want to have to deal with me anymore