"Over a year since an "urgent" referral"

I have suffered from mental health issues since I was a teenager which has included self harming, I have very up and down episodes and I have been on at least 7 different anti depressants over the years, I was only just at my doctors recently after calling Samaritans and my gp! I knew going to my gp would be a waste of time because I don't want pills just thrown at me and told to keep writing down my thoughts until the psychiatrist can see me.  it's been over a year since my "urgent" referral went in and still no word, my mother has told me that if the doctors don't do something she is picking up the phone and getting me into mid park so I can get some proper help before I end up taking my life and then it's too late! Although some days I can feel well enough to get off the couch I feel like I want to sleep all the time as sleep is better then reality most of the time, I have a young child who has to stay with my mum due to this, I WISH I could be like everyone else and just get on with it and have happy thoughts but from the minute I open my eyes from sleeping I get this feeling of sadness that I must face another day battening with the thoughts in my head! ! its not a nice thing to live with but the thought of being locked in a hospital also scares me! !