"I left without getting the advice I wanted"

I contacted the early pregnancy unit at Forth Valley Royal Infirmary when I heavy bleeding in the 9th week of pregnancy. I had a scan, blood test, stayed as an inpatient on ward 6; had a laparoscopy under GA due to suspected ectopic pregnancy and was diagnosed as having had a complete miscarriage and required to return for HCG monitoring as an outpatient.

The vast majority of nursing, auxiliary, reception, domestic and catering staff I came into contact with were caring and empathetic.

However, since discharge a few things have been bothering me as I don't feel I was always treated the way I should have been.

I found my experience with the sonographer to be distressing. There was a trainee sonographer being supervised by an experienced staff member. This was explained to me and I agreed to this. However throughout the visit neither sonographer spoke much to me or explained anything. I had a transvaginal scan- which was at times quite physically uncomfortable - and no reassurance was offered. I understand that it is likely a complex procedure and they needed to concentrate but presumably, the trainer is an experienced clinician and yet it felt like they forgot there was a patient attached to the uterus they were trying to image. The sonographers a were also occasionally laughing as they carried out the scan. At the time I was rationalising this - I know this is routine, all day, everyday stuff for them, but it really bothered me afterwards. This was for me the first confirmation of pregnancy loss and I felt they showed no empathy or concern and took no time to explain what was happening.

I also feel my consultant should have spent some time speaking to me. Consent (for the proposed laparoscopy and removal of ectopic pregnancy and affected Fallopian tube)was carried out by a specialist registrar who had a good bedside manner. However the consultant only popped in to ask if I'd had a previous operation then left the room again. I didn't see them again until I was in the anaesthetic room when they asked if I had any questions then said "have a good day then". I guess this was their sense of humour but again in hindsight it has bothered me as it seems unnecessarily insensitive when I am about to be put to sleep to have an ectopic pregnancy and Fallopian tube.

I never saw the consultant again after surgery either. On discharge(around 6pm) I had to ask the nurse what had happened in surgery and whether I had a Fallopian tube removed. The nurse seemed shocked no one had spoken to me about this and said I should have been seen on the morning ward round and she didn't know how I'd been missed. She explained to me that they hadn't found a pregnancy and now suspected I'd had a complete miscarriage. She then went to get the specialist registrar who came and explained again. I find it concerning that I could easily have been discharged without knowing what happened if I hadn't specifically asked.

My final complaint that I was asked to return for hcg monitoring. I was greeted by an auxiliary nurse who remembered my name and was very friendly and caring. There were no staff nurses available so she took my blood, found my discharge letter and asked how I was managing since going home last night. I mentioned I was having some post op pain and some questions and she said she'd get a staff nurse for me.

The staff nurse arrived, stood in the door of the treatment room, still had a mouthful of food; didn't introduce themselves and asked if I had questions or if we just wanted to go. I explained I had been offered patient information leaflets at my first appointment and, had forgotten to pick them up. Although it was mostly now in retrospect I would like these leaflets now to allow me to get as much information as possible to help me process what had happened over the last couple of days, as this is how I cope.

They seemed reluctant to give me the leaflets. I tried asking questions about what to expect in terms of the HCG results and what follow up would be required. It became obvious they didn't know who I was or my clinical situation. They told me that we're looking for the HCG levels to double to ensure when my pregnancy is continuing when I had, by now, been diagnosed with a complete miscarriage. They obviously couldn't be expected to know my case since we hadn't met before, however, it would have been much more professional in my view to have my notes on hand so they could look these up when I asked questions. Instead, my husband and I got the impression we were an inconvenience, interrupting their lunch.

When I tried to ask further questions I was told by the nurse that they didn't want to give me any information I didn't need to know, when I had clearly communicated twice that I felt I wanted as much information as possible to help me process and cope. 

I left without getting the analgesic advice I was looking for to manage my post op pain as I didn't feel it was worth asking anymore when they clearly wanted to get back to their lunch. My husband ended up getting the advice I needed from a helpful supermarket pharmacist instead.